tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85393776060614870922024-03-17T23:04:34.274-04:00N&MOur Foreign Service LifeNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.comBlogger289125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-20122155173573971932024-03-10T14:00:00.005-04:002024-03-10T14:00:59.594-04:00Tips for Acing the DEIA Question in Foreign Service Interviews<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFQHy_LdHKZeD9Bj65Q1bpK1P9dliQ57RftwSaUoerji-xNVRIkaHrxEqy_uPFyZPRvcO9dDQ8H-DZLbUZEmYjLLsEJM1sWnCBas8GhZEdkpZrOr4nKGYTbEkYmgS5emeVxREwPWFJ7kdTEPvY0H3DdxR5zzBlU8bcz5B-OrEq8kpZlGoPLvI-P7J7UmkO/w640-h448/interview-6956089_1280.png" style="width:100%" />
<caption>Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/nicholasjkaufmann-8488795/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=6956089">Nick K</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=6956089">Pixabay</a></caption>
<p>This year, I have the luxury of not <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/search/label/bidding">bidding</a> (i.e., what we call applying for our next post of assignment) and somehow I find it easier to be reflective and think about the best bidding <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/search/label/advice">advice</a> I've received and learned when I'm not under the pressure of finding a job just yet myself. I've previously shared my informational interview <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/07/informational-interview-red-flags.html">red flags</a> and <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/08/informational-interview-green-flags.html">green flags</a>, as well as how M and I <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/07/how-m-and-i-narrow-down-my-bid-list.html">narrow down our bid list</a>. I even did a <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2023/01/miscellaneous-bidding-advice-roundup.html">miscellaneous bidding advice roundup</a>. But something I've been asked a lot recently and haven't yet done a post on is how to ace the DEIA (diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility) question we all expect these days in interviews. The question is usually some variation on "What does DEIA mean to you?" or "How have you supported DEIA?" or "Tell me about how you've advanced DEIA in your current role."</p>
<p>This is not a purely cynical question I'm hearing from people who don't care about DEIA and want to fake it 'til they make it to their dream post. DEIA questions can be difficult even for the most dedicated employees because it's hard to know what's admissible versus inadmissible, what hiring managers are looking for, and how you can stand out from all the other candidates answering this question. With the caveat that this is merely one mid-level Foreign Service officer's opinion and it should be taken with a grain of salt, I wanted to consolidate my personal advice for answering this question effectively after a few rounds of mid-level bidding experience, lots of practice with others both more senior and junior to me, conversations I've had with hiring managers including regional bureau DEIA advisors, and sitting in on interviews including with some Chief of Mission (i.e., Ambassador) interviews. Here's my advice roundup in no particular order:</p>
<ul>
<li>Don't confuse DEIA with affirmative action. One hiring manager told me, "You'd be amazed at how many men proudly announce in response to the DEIA question that they have hired a woman and therefore they are champions of DEIA." This not only demonstrates that you don't know what DEIA really is but also makes an insulting implication that women can't be hired based on merit. Crucially, it is illegal to make a hiring decision in the Foreign Service based on protected categories like race or sex. This is an unacceptable response.</li>
<li>Don't feel like your example only matters if it's about race or sex; use the best example you have. Too many people think about DEIA only in terms of race or sex when your best example of what you've done to advance DEIA might be advocating for better accommodations for people with disabilities or ensuring equitable policies for LGBTQIA+ people or whatever it might be.</li>
<li>Some people say they are so overwhelmed with their basic day-to-day essential tasks that they don't have time to invest in DEIA initiatives that are worth talking about in an interview (or even in an <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2018/07/whats-eer-and-how-to-write-your-first.html">EER</a>). I think this is a mistake. Although it's wonderful if you can volunteer on your post's or office's DEIA Council (what were previously called <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/01/whats-d-council.html">D&I Councils</a>), that's not a prerequisite to doing DEIA work. The best employees incorporate DEIA into their regular work anyway. If you're a press attaché, you could look at including journalists from outlets with different perspectives than the safe, U.S.-based ones you already know well. If you're a cultural affairs officer, you could conduct outreach, prioritize grant proposals, and seek out exchange applicants in marginalized geographic areas. If you're a reporting officer, you could make sure your contact lists and invitation lists include more people from underrepresented groups and your meetings with friends and allies include more than just the stereotypical Western European diplomats. If you're a management officer, you can make sure all religious holidays and observances are respectfully and appropriately accommodated with policies such as floating holidays or ensuring employees have a private place for prayer and meditation. If you're a consular officer you can use norming sessions (i.e., meetings where you make sure all interviewing officers are on the same page) and validation studies (i.e., research the Department does on consular outcomes for those who receive and travel on U.S. visas) to advocate that visa decisions be made on substantiated evidence and not unconscious bias.</li>
<li>Try to talk about the outcome of whatever you did. Instead of just saying you invited more women to a reception, you can say, "As a result of my efforts to diversify the economic section's contact list, we gained insights from women entrepreneurs who underscored additional barriers they faced obtaining capital in country. Our team wrote a front-channel cable reporting on the discrepancy and incorporated talking points about empowering women entrepreneurs into all engagements with the Ministry of Economy, which increased host government outreach and programs for women and other marginalized business owners. In addition, our initiative inspired other posts in the region to investigate and identify gaps, as well." It doesn't always have to be that grand, either. For example, sharing that people who attended your event said they never realized how much the language they were using hurt people from rural areas or that people with invisible disabilities contacted you later to say they were thankful you stood up for people like them in front of the team makes your example more meaningful.</li>
<li>If you have the opportunity to show DEIA leadership, do it - but it's not necessary to share if you are a member of an underrepresented group. For example, you can say something like "As vice president of one of State's largest employee resource groups representing x individual members spanning the globe, I learned that many of our members faced discrimination and harassment in the workplace for their identity from managers and colleagues who misinterpreted U.S. opposition to certain countries and governments as antipathy for entire ethnic groups. As a result, I spearheaded programs to set Department-wide policy on inclusive and precise language, including the first-ever ALDAC on the subject, that empowered people to have official guidance to point to when pushing back on discrimination in the workplace. Many employees have written to me in the months since expressing their relief and gratitude for official guidance that gives them the top cover they need to feel empowered and effective at work. Y% of employees from this demographic said in the recent Stay Survey that they struggle seeing a future for themselves in the Department, and although we have a long way to go I'm proud that initiatives like the one I made a priority will help to change things for the better." (An ALDAC is a cable sent from Main State, what we call Department of State headquarters in DC, to all diplomatic and consular posts around the world.) Notice in this example the actual identity of the person talking is unnecessary. The hiring panel shouldn't be hiring you because you're a member of a marginalized group; they should be hiring you because of what you've accomplished. It's worth practicing highlighting your accomplishments without referencing your identities, if possible. They're important in the real world but incidental to the hiring manager's decision.</li>
<li>Always think about how what you've done can build the institution. One of my examples was I pushed for my post to have newsletters accessible to people with visual impairments for the first time. How can I take that benefit even further? I can share the results with others through employee resource groups or with a cable so other posts that don't yet have accessible newsletters can make the switch, too, and learn from what we did. That not only makes a better interview example, but more importantly it actually benefits more people.</li>
<li>Stay away from topics of reverse discrimination or underscoring historically privileged identities. I wish this could go without saying, but I've heard Foreign Service people complain to me that the real victims of modern DEIA efforts are straight, white men and that they should be the priority. I've also heard complaints of reverse racism, accusations that bidding and promotions are now skewed in favor of underrepresented groups, and that it's so hard to be Christian nowadays. People have a right to their personal opinions, but these hot takes have no place in a professional interview of any kind and definitely not in response to a DEIA question.</li>
<li>Use specific examples of your accomplishments, regardless of the question. Sometimes the question is so abstract and general (e.g., "What does DEIA mean to you?") that people are tempted to give an abstract and general answer. This is never as effective as an answer backed up by specific examples. You can say, "DEIA is the very foundation of the strength of the United States, and I support it not only because science has demonstrated over and over again that DEIA is more creative and effective and productive but also because it's the right thing to do. That's why when I was a section chief and learned that women and Muslim entry-level officers at my post felt left out and disadvantaged because the DCM would host whiskey and cigar nights with only their male, alcohol-drinking counterparts, I decided to take action..." This is just a hypothetical example, but I wrote it out to illustrate how you can address the abstract question very quickly but make it a stronger answer by backing it up with a concrete example.</li>
<li>The best DEIA examples take personal investment and courage. (Warning: this is probably my most controversial piece of advice here.) If you want to stand out from other bidders, I don't think it's usually enough to say you organized a webinar or made a flyer or planned a single event on a very safe DEIA topic that everyone who attended already agreed was good and important. Our institution changes very slowly, and there are a lot of necessary and overdue DEIA changes that will require some friction. If you stood up to your boss on a DEIA issue, that shows you were willing to take a level of personal risk for integrity that a lot of Foreign Service personnel wouldn't. If you stood up to your boss and it was successful and you got the change implemented and an apology, that shows that you're not only brave but diplomatic and effective (and I think it speaks volumes about the professional maturity of your boss, as well). This is just my two cents, but I think DEIA leadership requirements are moving in this direction because our organization sorely needs this level of commitment. I've had countless mentors since I joined the Foreign Service tell me when I was going through something discriminatory or unfair and say, "That's really horrible. But if I were you I'd put my head down and not make a big deal about it. I'm conflict averse and the Department doesn't reward people who go against the grain." With all due respect to those mentors, I think many of us newer folks are not willing to spend the rest of our careers putting our heads down and accepting the work culture this attitude fuels. As I've said before and will say again: more often than not I've found entry-level cowards become mid-level cowards and mid-level cowards become senior-level cowards. Courage has to start somewhere.</li>
</ul>
<p>I hope this is helpful advice, but remember I'm just one person with one opinion. Best of luck to everyone bidding, and I hope you work hard to move forward <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/search/label/DEIA">DEIA</a> not just during interview season but all year round!</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-11043549976987350382024-03-02T03:05:00.000-05:002024-03-02T03:05:15.816-05:00How I Manage Too Many Emails, Not Enough Time<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXp_DXpJMmlgHTtCVVXbHhwMulCgKpqIbFZFlRVtNAoZUV9Cb7FXohym6dgy1zW6Ry-f6MdsNZuESUawPpLi2JcN8_gs5_EdA6d6hyphenhyphen-jPsmNDujG6nkpNRWQNqYUjtcw16wplwiyuyKq9WwP1W1CSn1ynSpiMtsGInVcmSfH9UGy1DInpX9PLKH3cMLLYD/w640-h232/email-marketing-2362038_1280.png" style="width:100%" /><p>A Foreign Service mentor of mine I really admire once told me, "You'd be amazed how far you can get in this career just by responding to emails." As an entry-level officer, I didn't understand what she meant but now that I'm hitting my mid-career stride I completely agree. Like most modern office workplaces, the State Department is overflowing with emails: newsletters, administrative automated emails, meeting and event invitations, requests for clearance (what we call required approvals on documents or courses of action), networking messages, missives from mentees or mentors or colleagues or friends who need advice or are hoping to catch up or are responding to you - some of which require your attention or approval but some of which are just for your information. Of the ones that need action, some have deadlines and some are open-ended. Either way, I have yet to meet someone in the mid-level Foreign Service and above who isn't sick of the overwhelming number of emails.</p>
<p>In this environment, it is very tempting simply to relinquish control of one's inbox and give up. I have met plenty of people - including those in essential jobs where a missed email literally could alter someone life - fall into this camp. Alternatively, some let Outlook rule their lives, spending every night and weekend combing through emails to make sure they've read every word of every email that comes through just in case they are needed. I don't think either of these extremes is healthy or contributes to a positive work culture. I also don't think there is a one-size-fits-all solution for every person or every job: people need to find the email management system that works best for them.</p>
<p>At the same time, I'm happy to shared what has worked for me because it has served me well throughout all four of my tours in the Foreign Service so far. I love my system so much that I use the same one for my personal email and work email: Inbox Zero. Yes, this means my inbox is empty or nearly empty a majority of the time. (And it feels great!) <a href="https://www.techtarget.com/whatis/definition/inbox-zero">TechTarget</a> summarizes the key tenets of Inbox Zero, which I quoted below followed by my own commentary:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>"Some messages are more equal than others."</strong> This is the most challenging one for me, because I like to go in order from oldest to newest email by default, but sometimes you have to go through your emails in priority order or the top priorities will fall through the cracks. It's not enough to have a goal of taking care of five emails by lunch: the most important and urgent emails need to be addressed and treating all emails as equal can tempt anyone to do the easier or more fun emails first.</li>
<li><strong>"Your time is priceless and wildly limited...Accept that your workload exceeds your resources."</strong> This means saying no, delegating, or asking for help when you need it. In the Foreign Service world, I find this reminder very helpful when I see a cable about a very cool grant program that I might be able to apply for and manage but I really don't have the time or the bandwidth to put in the necessary effort to make the program successful. It's better that I just ignore the cable announcing the opportunity than spinning myself and others up to feel like we need to submit something.</li>
<li><strong>"Less can be so much more."</strong> For instance, I used to feel like I needed "thank you" and "you're welcome" responses to emails all the time, but now a simple thumbs up in Outlook or even a quick instant message in Teams does the job without cluttering both our inboxes.</li>
<li><strong>"Lose the guilt."</strong> If someone doesn't like your quick or curt response, don't beat yourself up over it. I will add a caveat that in the Foreign Service context it is crucial to be attuned to local cultural communication differences and not to be rude (by the standards of your counterpart's culture) in email communications. Even if you do find someone was hurt or offended by your quick and short response, shaming yourself over it doesn't help. Thank whomever helped you learn, resolve to do better, and get back to work. There are plenty of other ways to streamline efficiency, including in other emails, so don't feel like including all the proper introductions and how-are-yous and flowery signoffs is a waste of time if it's meaningful in that culture.</li>
<li><strong>"Lying to yourself doesn't empty an inbox."</strong> I most often see this in bad estimates of how long an email will take to handle. If it needs more time, don't try and dive in five minutes before you have to run to a meeting. If you need to consult with people before responding, consult with them and then respond instead of cluttering everyone's inboxes with unnecessary back-and-forth.</li>
</ol>
<p>There is a key feature in Outlook and Gmail I find essential for maintaining my Inbox Zero lifestyle: snooze, which allows you to remove emails from your inbox to a "snoozed" category and schedule them to re-enter your inbox at a specified later date and time. I snooze emails with reckless abandon in my personal and work systems whenever I don't have time to respond in the moment or whenever I might need to follow up later. (It's worth noting the snooze feature is more reliably available in web Outlook than the desktop version, at least for State employees.) Did I get emailed tickets with a QR code for an event on Thursday? I snooze it for Thursday evening right before the event. Is there an administrative task I need to make sure gets done? I snooze it to next week as a reminder to follow up if I haven't heard any updates by then. The possibilities are infinite!</p>
<p>Where I differ from the traditional Inbox Zero approach, which recommends aggressively deleting or archiving emails as you go through them, is that I file completed emails into folders due to <a href="https://www.archives.gov/records-mgmt/policy">federal government records retention requirements</a>. I can't just delete my work emails because technically my work emails involving official business are federal government records that must be kept according to specific laws, regulations, and policies. They can be requested due to the Freedom of Information Act, and sometimes historians, political scientists, and other academics use our unclassified or declassified emails for their research. I have periodically archived my emails to assist with storage space, but I don't have the same freedom to archive and delete work emails that I do with my personal inbox.</p>
<p>Alternatives to my system include a long list of automated rules and filters and color-coded labels, which I've seen some people use to great effect. For me, I prefer a few simple rules that are low-stakes enough I am confident I won't miss something very crucial that may require my action. For example, I have a "Roundups" folder in Outlook where my automatic rules put media summaries, political and economic highlights, newsletters from headquarters, and other large-distro items that summarize things that may be of interest to me. These are pretty much never urgent and consolidating them in the Roundups folder instead of cluttering up my inbox allows me to review (or more often skim) them when I have a good chunk of reading time or when I'm in the car on my way to or from a work meeting. My rule leaves new messages in the folder unread so I can see where I left off once I do get reading time, and the rules are very specific (i.e., from a certain sender to a certain distribution list with certain words in the subject) so nothing requiring my individual attention or response accidentally skips my main inbox.</p>
<p>I hope this information is helpful to readers; I think the sooner you transition to Inbox Zero (or whetever email management system works for you), the easier your work life will be. I still think State Department culture has a long way to go on things like calling people for truly urgent tasks instead of expecting them to check emails around the clock, but there are things we can do to make it better and save ourselves from burnout in the process.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-66684877258133485762024-02-19T04:54:00.003-05:002024-02-19T04:54:41.682-05:00Work (and Family) Trip to Thailand<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDb_MxOogPeGRlFhqiwmo_UVWPuMWOHp5qrdq6IfZtyJRRz5k9kKLKLuNSuoreeYucAC6hyphenhyphen06k5H3TsKv8VaKbMB9WqKWIFOOaPhSFXulieZGO6omoMQA_f37M54ZvRWGu6KKNHEXiNlBEG7TpMAPcCBG5cezZuw-ucKVSBNDWSSrDrcnEcwVH4goBXGih/w480-h640/PXL_20240211_082559334.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Sometimes, the <a href="https://www.state.gov/bureaus-offices/under-secretary-for-management/foreign-service-institute/">Foreign Service Institute</a> (FSI) provides trainings overseas, and I was delighted to participate in one of those in Bangkok, Thailand. I'd traveled to Thailand once before but I was so young I didn't remember. Now, I had the opportunity to spend a week there and we decided to make a family trip of it.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMs2M8kXgxpLSiuJd0Qgdq-6CGS-1yyz2KxX8GG_5F24-YrqNBBaqecHOXUuXNLT1yg-AfcHuJc542OBfRJ7YAThEdX9FYA2fJ9Aqlxvj0d6bJVraLx6x7s3kMApo3PG2KGaD6a2t2eDs48RWxisF-Zy7CrEMtpaWtD1p8V02h6Vq4LBG4Lm2-cpCGDag_/w640-h456/PXL_20240215_115607528.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I took a course on Propaganda and Disinformation, which is typically tailored very specifically to Public Diplomacy (PD) Officers but this year was opened up to more reporting officers (our catch-all term for Political and Economic Officers) interested in collaborating with PD on these issues. I learned a lot from the instructors, guest speakers, and the other students. To my delight, many local staff joined for the course. In my opinion, officers and specialists and local staff and EFM (Eligible Family Members, or family members of Foreign Service personnel) employees are kept separate unnecessarily far too often.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIEKRT7bcdKRZw0kH9lqfPMmxj5TQIR_176d7AplB02ue4alB0MSsmJqsl_ykZOex1ilMChaF-o0aoiX9q61BI_dXQlfT1c_akLpc30k22vWPMcHi-5s0puYlZc0y6snVIUUgA-oJMkzOh5wwGCBxR5M_ib51driA-QN3HkJpJcpEJr3j8H5ro7KhN9dWR/w640-h290/PXL_20240212_104803793.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>After my training each day, I got to spend time with M and S exploring the city a bit. I loved the cultural vibrancy as we went many places with no English (and communicated extensively with gestures) and stumbled across beautiful temples and shrines everywhere, such as <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erawan_Shrine">Erawan Shrine</a> (pictured above). The cost of living was incredibly affordable compared to Dubai, and I was stunned to find myself regularly purchasing fresh, substantial meals during my lunch break for about one dollar. I bought several clothing items, too, including the very stereotypical touristy <a href="https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/culture/2023/11/17/in-thailand-tiktokers-give-elephant-pants-a-new-measure-of-039cultural039-cool">elephant pants</a>.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ_yK90ZEK9tNFnxj6zPoR9kWlSYqT_kR52qmO1Fj_I_FL6qE4XnPUuFmQjL3pDiJAfCGshLA05ZwuHhhyfhNjFXdQYKCDG9Zzwsha9O3gOmPm8tiE0sRuaU1y0ZF94Sjk40mVK93NkjJXHGkapfKrRbF0jRNLsAeao4Dr9GU_1-6I7tUGBn7KgeH_cIKT/w640-h364/PXL_20240215_143755698.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>My favorite place we visited was <a href="https://www.chatuchakmarket.org/">Chatuchak Market</a>, the best street market I think I've ever experienced in my life. It's only open on the weekend, so I'm glad we got to Bangkok early enough before my training to go. The market's scale was enormous, and it felt like you could find almost anything there. We stumbled on a sprawling fine art section, and if our suitcases weren't so full I don't think I would've been able to resist buying one of the many stunning paintings or sculptures we saw. People recommended we go early to beat the crowds, and that's exactly what we did.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN2vqsTtnp_7CzKZe4_qbAmWSnVuyt2JpVw6N3ctg1rN-ekKB3IGm8fHN3kcIcJPMV9iDRsF72T4yOWR6mVPxsWwPY_Kjm28v6JOQQW056m2pcX2Bee_NN1Yp84HPRWTDVvZTxgaSr_SqwZmrRdbWZ6s3HZiWTIypfFtigMUKVCQ2qpDQnJkJMPDDZMOA1/w640-h412/PXL_20240211_041810097.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We tried the famous coconut ice cream, which I found so refreshing in the heat. I also had the spiciest food of my life at a street stall where each skewer of vegetables, fish, or meat cost 10 Thai baht (less than 30 cents). It was so good I devoured all five of my skewers even though my mouth felt like it was on fire. We didn't take S's stroller because so many blogs online said the metro and the street market were not doable with a stroller but I'm here to tell you that all those other blogs are wrong. M and I both felt our excursion was stroller-friendly and even saw a few other families with strollers. Especially if you have a sturdy stroller like we do, I think it would've been worth it especially so we could have used the stroller fan for S and had a place to put his backpack.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjd9jOdHmK7-sp1a3hq1M9W7eg7IwDJhfyKFDXf2E8GqqOU4ZMMxhjVCrLoJcogplTGKlzrh0rTuuOR3PTFIgryRTOa9JZ2tpksS67vMw3jgWPrcmHCmmcoNOcBII7Go7kz_0WjnwTxBfCqBtrR3Fz4Y8dC0akW3_tBkRszHjqXtDWMXWLleOCyoH99xSP/w640-h480/PXL_20240214_113000205~3.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I enjoyed some cultural activities in the evenings as well, including a private <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muay_Thai">Muay Thai</a> (Thai martial art sometimes described as Thai boxing) class outdoors that got my heart racing while M and S cheered me on. The instructor was kind enough to let S put on the kid gloves, which he loved. I also took a tour that included trying on traditional Thai clothes, of which there are apparently many different kinds. I happened to find a top and sash that matched my existing outfit perfectly (the first photo of this post). I also took a lotus folding lesson and learned that folding lotus petals properly and beautifully without ripping the petals off the bud is a lot harder than it looks! Here I snapped a photo of three different styles I did: sunflower style, peony style, and star style. Lastly, I got more massages in a week than I have in months and discovered a new love of the Thai style of massage (which is usually clothed, without oil, and has more muscle stretching than a Western standard massage).</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Sk0iQ6O_gp5OrpHpuaGN6xOGrp97G5hSH1AY8KJ32k31E-iTD4yT3o6tYubhWdjF53l7qqEGyKpayt5kLrx6pEJ5lNlssfBp5ZH2PYygzjdr7b5nBsig88JlNcxTR43G6KPbr-x_KynVyXclzYsgFHp8Qp52fXZ_W5cqXJ5e8u3jutoebSewK-mm9LD1/w640-h294/PXL_20240211_084454234.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We also met up with some of my <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2017/03/whats-100.html">A-100</a> colleagues, and it was so good to see them again. One of the most fun things about being in the Foreign Service is bumping into people all over the place (and for some a different part of the world every single time you see each other). So having seen some old friends and made some new ones in my training, we wrapped up our Bangkok trip energized and rejuvenated to come back home. (I will say, the older I get the more I miss my pillow and my bed when I'm gone.) I feel so grateful for this opportunity, for the supportive leadership that allowed me to take it, and for the chance to spend some extra time with my family. (And I certainly hope that's not the last time I get to visit Thailand!)</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-60471207460550095182024-01-18T10:53:00.006-05:002024-01-18T10:55:31.260-05:00Beach Glamping in Ras Al Khaimah<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6b0j-ynQeIR2ECdX8o7bemd2PFIpoy7UdxGtttxyp0rQpD4gbsjlG84x4DJZoxvgUFIGANbZkdS4EilkvL2b4DKub0yn65CClM0MHrWl4modQqahQZSbi4dbTRCt7xhPQo9FiMJlki69EIw9ck28VJjfvGqm7km1_67d8aRTgzgWlENAU_p1bIohNbFHT/w640-h330/PXL_20231110_132337231~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We went beach glamping as a family ages ago, and I'm only getting around to blogging about it now. We stayed at <a href="https://visitrasalkhaimah.com/plan-your-trip/accommodations/longbeach-campground/">Longbeach Campground</a> in Ras Al Khaimah, one of the northern emirates that make up the seven-emirate federation of the United Arabic Emirates (UAE), along with a few other families from the U.S. Consulate. Ras Al Khaimah, sometimes abbreviated RAK and pronounced "rack", has a name that means "head of the tent" in Arabic and supposedly traces its origins to an actual tent that was once erected there for navigation. It seemed like an especially appropriate place to camp!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPWAqhVwAyMYFGjFQVJq9XLGCsCypTtkp1rFgnQZodfd7m7r-wE_xOkIqZH-hizwSTFmxSS1ohcajq2KBeAkldm5X4HFabyd_gBHlfmyBxtIF6RBJaytyP9M9Hit4ffIQYJl6MnFmDniQ8v5GjwkXEtEutSPryCqbMn3C5k2ql_ESzyYHoVuLTvw8wlGo5/w640-h480/IMG-20231110-WA0002~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>It was our first time camping in a tent with S, and we were very nervous about how much sleep any of us would get. My anxiety spiked when we arrived a bit early to the campsite and the tent was a sauna. We were sweating buckets and hoping it would cool down. Thankfully, once we opened up the tent the ocean breeze and setting sun did their thing. By evening the tent was not only cool but very pleasant.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFvwPiKMM9ZO1rANTc8vpybywawHlvi50vbe5IrrGLL0bjHGAzH9hKd1R8NK_3aROmgGKJV6jvMjuvY-i-2uKFwrEzme-LrcNzK8zm6k_NlE_XKINcdrQtZXqeW_EHbNtaVeqDteJBD4hP98T8R8-7MUjiVoPk05Uiz5FiIsrARVxymtCTZnvaDdYOQOLW/w640-h480/PXL_20231110_160648759~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>The campground had family-friendly activities including a mini-zoo and kids' playroom, which we really appreciated so we could relax while S had a safe place to run around. The food was also buffet-style with a huge selection, which we not only love for ourselves but for making sure there's something that will fill up our ravenous but sometimes unpredictable toddler.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRQNPnA3pTiHRaSr_J8bg6oTBEEL-fcDIBuymqAhNKdlFslnX7Y9RXJo1taL28goLnFeTViM35KWTjuapx_ZojtGKarCgx-sA-GUXFtDMBMV8VJgZDZndPJxvewATnadwaEbVeC6ktohbcB0rQRdMAJrRoOpUzKiqAZ4VfRkyU4lJ0r79nVWRGqdO1DKwV/w640-h480/PXL_20231110_184353566.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>After we put S to sleep in our tent with the babycam, M and I had a romantic stroll around the campground and lounged by the ocean under clear skies next to crashing waves. We also miraculously snuck into the tent without waking him up, a feat I know other parents of small children will understand is one of the sweetest victories this phase of life has to offer. The whole experience was so restful and healing, and it was so nice to get away from the city and taste some nature.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4DRgQZ6XPKLFo0fa5MnrVwInuyBfnCsfCsjO5oIueIqRgAscNgs_NJupB3eIeZ45SQDWi3Er0YjJS2K9g24wYvW87NwMvTl7RY4ydvsWaNBbif3FSBxGS_03Lhqvyl-O_x5VQ9jImV-j3XrJGgj0akvNyzfdKI_SjNx2gn8rit5c7k3P-oogOY3JK47Oc/w640-h480/PXL_20231111_051837646.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>On the day we left, I noticed a ton of morning glory blooms, and that's my favorite flower. RAK lives up to its reputation as a wonderful destination for getting outside, and I can't wait to explore some more of it while we're living in the UAE.</p>
Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-18409142716738918522024-01-07T13:13:00.001-05:002024-01-07T13:13:58.044-05:00My 2023 and 2024 New Year's Resolutions<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEC1kg0zzqRVQDcOvh6ZVwqpZkMLXnW6fRcCfRtkQPpwhyphenhyphenoYABuKPp28_lwFgB_icYiFUlb2-3LpeI7OXDgaAr5fu52Sa97AB7oInaIGhwovpepzBg6VsN4-JxfRkOBnJe319eVpmmaancFA9A4Iw6qDBsXf2aR-JuAONP5MoS3DvZOiCVvO_itM2_FIxT/w494-h640/calendar.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I know New Year's Resolutions are controversial, but I love them for myself and I have a pretty good track record of meeting whatever resolution I set out each year. So let's take a look at how I did with my <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2023/01/new-year-new-resolution.html">2023 resolution</a> and what I'm hoping to do in 2024.</p>
<p>In 2023, I had a very specific goal: exercise more days than not in the calendar year. This meant I needed to exercise 183 out of 365 days, and I'm happy to say I accomplished this one (by the skin of my teeth at exactly 183 days). I used a <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/1177387401/daily-exercise-and-habit-tracker-color">habit tracker color-in calendar from Etsy</a> and color-coded the days I exercised by the type of exercise. It's interesting to see certain patterns, like more orange when I was in the States when I had a gym membership for Orangetheory Fitness and more brown in Dubai when I got a membership at Fitness First. I also don't work out on Sundays for religious reasons (unless I'm traveling and go for a hike or something wherever I travel), so it was more challenging than I expected getting a majority of the remaining six days of the week. There were also times I was sick or for other reasons couldn't exercise, so I can see my ability to do many days back to back ebbed and flowed throughout the course of the year. I do feel like this resolution helped me get back in the swing of exercising regularly, and I think I'll be able to continue that heading into 2024.</p>
<p>In 2024, my New Year's Resolution will focus on mindfulness. I plan to practice mindful eating and mindful sleeping for healthier habits. I also want to be a more engaged listener and be less distracted by things like my phone when I'm talking to others. Spiritually, I hope to improve my practice of and experience of prayer, which has become a bit of a rushed and chaotic exercise for me lately. And I would also like to meditate more. (I'm using the <a href="https://www.headspace.com/">Headspace app</a>, which I've found to be wonderful for meditation newbies.) Lastly, I want to be kinder to myself and let more things go.</p>
<p>My 2024 resolution is a lot more amorphous and less quantifiable than my 2023 resolution. But some years I find that just having a mantra or priority word like "mindfulness" is enough to lead me to make big change in my life. At every fork in the road, I can ask myself, "Is this choice supporting my goal of bringing more mindfulness into my life?" I'm looking forward to investing in my wellbeing this year and making some small progress towards a better, healthier, more peaceful self.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-2328176592618692962023-12-25T07:15:00.001-05:002023-12-25T07:15:46.525-05:00From COP Town to Cape Town<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcPiuD7QQyeHS-JwFxiuG8H4RLQ5xPPhO_glljsr8Uo0CfIPoZ0IwgM93qcfBZiZqhf8rRBdQzDBH2DJB0NCeoJu2r9_-YDD7DYc56x5DvNwL5OC2aVaLiDPRu_ISKe67VlLL3JEeLhKNsWWX_RYOp4yj68gD3-6XNwvnGHnH7JTGKnOrzwiHUECRLcahj/w640-h268/PXL_20231209_155258750.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>M literally groaned out loud when I told him the title of this blog post. What can I say? I love my puns. The last few months of the year, the U.S. Mission to the UAE was laser-focused on <a href="https://unfccc.int/cop28">COP28</a>, the 28th edition of an annual United Nations Climate Change Conference or Conference of the Parties of the UNFCCC more commonly known as simply "COP". This year, Dubai hosted the event and tens of thousands of delegates from around the world descended on the UAE for weeks of engagements and negotiations (and even a few protests).</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1qBOzp59v4In2Ut10rSWr3O1cP4v1viV3m44ePfNp6XszI3DNzhCjpYWQAZI7QrfBbEYmcGRP79C4deOtK8OkaCkFXaEyByOB8kSlTdNqRs6Xh83JHbgRhw6WbIiAJsgMcbchz4hicKUWV7bZLcoZIN_2dxJ-jzBlDbeIPwqPS-ayi_lfukDfvZkgZpi7/w640-h480/PXL_20231202_145620815.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I served as a <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2017/12/whats-control-officer.html">control officer</a> for one of the many U.S. government delegations. Working visits like this is always intense: I calculated in just three days over one weekend I worked 48 hours' worth of overtime. I finished around midnight or 1am every day my visitors were on the ground and started early again the next day. (As a tenured Foreign Service Officer, I'm not actually eligible for overtime paid out for extra hours worked but I did get what's called <a href="https://fam.state.gov/fam/03fam/03fam3130.html">"special compensatory time off"</a>, which is additional leave I can use later.)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghGpVbWZZPt36m5lVdeNqKhPz7CUELRfHw3KDAH9CStXNHCouA3IoAHQx4srk3cnV1XCfO6V6-vLRMLrvLnkpnRhsZvxakgotU5cgE04EyWYleJ3OOrLO_lEDkoNnh74nsB0_LMMXVQyIqKVPvSoa5UkC1V7xUJhITqn-rc9FrRV2YztPGXK-plsfqBESL/w640-h480/PXL_20231202_145953069.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Thankfully, once my portion of the massive support effort was complete, I was able to jet off with M and S to South Africa for a dear friend's wedding. I went to middle school, high school, and college with this friend, so we go way back. Plus, we've always wanted to visit Cape Town where the wedding was held. Long flights with a restless toddler are never easy, but we made it in one piece.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixNSaSTQzo2fcKQQmJwuFDKvMksI9Fj09Oxb_HWxzhLTRDmp46q79Z2Scfm1jtrLKfCLKUWz9_2TMGOX_Xn79dU7gHIF_9kKTQV3Sd5_r0upvpQWV8nozEElYdHi86a0my9jQCMxjoZd4swal1ULvkybs-AH8HN7basKr1yklN936xx9X7pFELNmuCiYxM/w640-h186/PXL_20231209_155733965~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdxOQfqsldD8tmi4agv6AT8jT6T0nRh2A4WdzycWy8PmgOXEJocGDJuaf0WyOcWKYdGcGUABmqtfW-TANtbErjpl_FzGxXmRjcGjgcNgCU5xX3RU6oA9JCJHJXravrWGnhYIhmtdyFS-qBr1a8cE6HrYEVzUdrn8dOLZw1RJjEmTB6VQ58PD1h3D2cGLse/w640-h190/PXL_20231209_155728587~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We spent a week in Cape Town doing a mix of wedding-related activities and tourist attractions on our own. We took a walking tour of Cape Town covering the history of apartheid, hiked Lion's Head, saw wild penguins at Boulders Beach, went strawberry picking at a local farm, took the cable car up Table Mountain, and drove through the colorful streets of Bo Kaap. I especially loved the hike, S especially loved the penguins and strawberry picking, and M especially loved the Palestinian art in Bo Kaap.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcyfzNngDp8lYyP_b5YMMkZ0ybCVRS_Clma78MfUERcI_a_8zEP8WfKadTKymwaSvlB0Vg3YrcBf3bDNhyb0WhYul1mTT5u2ziweaQnlPAYzNE5zhJTUL9uVdazIHtMYBviTCRLOxY-qtWvt1dBInJtgIZVtxSG9wv9gHepeomDUIr7YghUpFqaVFu3rqr/w640-h384/PXL_20231215_123412918~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>The hardest part of our trip was the intense load shedding. Load shedding is a decrease or blackout of electricity to prevent an excessive load on the electricity plant when demand outpaces supply, and <a href="https://www.greenmatters.com/clean-energy/what-is-load-shedding-south-africa#:~:text=Load%20shedding%20refers%20to%20strategic,on%20a%20failing%20power%20grid.">load shedding in South Africa</a> has been an issue for a long time. While we were in Cape Town, we experienced it multiple times a day for hours at a time. It affected everything, from what restaurants could cook and serve to whether our babycam would work at the hotel. It even prevented us from visiting a museum I wanted to see, which was closed for load shedding when we went there. People there seemed used to it, but it was a big adjustment for us.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgHAGp_TtDOeFU-PArtAPuy13HOcOddlxEi4r7pMxCpcOAGwYmUGC8W92mRtzVa2zOdv8YGQsPBQ89b-7_oe06bfuapMxwHzudjZCcsWD1Wc0bCQJgJ8kq_dl97Eb8RGd5bhhUhfwN_pHD5YuZQgDMQ3WF3xnmO3dspJG4BdhBCBoInGCX2XGo7cKVTsF9/w640-h480/PXL_20231211_081452306.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Our friend's wedding was stunning. They had the ceremony and reception at a gorgeous venue in Stellenbosch, world famous for its vineyards. The wedding was adults only, so we teamed up with some other families with young kids to hire a nanny near the grounds of the venue. S had so much fun playing with the other kids, he kept asking to hang out with them by name for the rest of the trip. M and I really enjoyed our time at the wedding, having adult conversations and taking a break from chasing our little guy around every waking moment.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2lWtkOfsvF7uagIe3h6wA_V2A_SqSlKBH3GqzaMKLK6UbfLUO5pfYv3sy8QMtYNQ4MciPCcxlhdhj2lmBwMe3WnmL_yWVv6eIlerZCsrQPInA-7ORu76LwU7HneaOI9YgH5B4e_ZQX1sVz-Qa6CcuBNwJDwje4kjFlM3LMnQC77JdmtIUzYFWHiVDbnL8/w640-h564/PXL_20231212_142541730.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We decided to tack on a weekend at a resort in Mozambique on our way back from South Africa. After doing a million things in Cape Town, we chose to just relax at our resort near Maputo the entire time. We had an incredible oceanfront view and appreciated the chance to unwind and recharge.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgemBBnCFP1meTeEN_w3ZyS5f2Bsmwm012wvgQfFOcfZWnCWkZG6zvd3Ql2III1C8DC2PT0M7i6wAbwYDR8zpfC-em0onWS3V_u7v7Q02VRRzhFBzCsNB4bbGEQdwoonPmoO9BaWM4qJBdeNOZ5CWYUpcgYjEUfRvknH_kcS-9ICp15Xeoz9lT_JiqOwimk/w640-h454/PXL_20231216_095645828~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Too soon, it was time to wrap up our trip and return home. Only later did I realize that two family friends we loved spending time with in Nairobi had moved to Cape Town, and we completely missed hanging out with them! I was so bummed about it. At least now we have an excuse to visit again in the future.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZAb5dLVA2GEB2U2g_w0zVQ6RGgXs32_PThGkdiRBk0kc_tbdSdvUk8wEFOQMGVsptyDrYtgf-IKaliKkIr5D6u78_ZZVvKyS1wvHJ0BgbFJ0iDIDW-5hDNqjmHyszvihAx56iGaUiGJ3_rUe9svtv7M8mbXNjFm10aIgvrLo8b6EGD_SArrCfQ2room3A/w640-h428/PXL_20231213_110428753~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-15088417798518790672023-11-27T14:21:00.001-05:002023-11-27T14:21:14.635-05:00Happy (Belated) Diwali from Dubai!<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg63hLo0PuYUHUtcwKpX5SN-V3SHL37U_JJOXvmPWrXp98FQ-4ZDgixxykZx-wTK5E4DKsxIEUD_XCkVeu73mcfaLUdqweTW_RMPc-IMjGo_rdnZWwu2Gcyo_0rhjyFFyZZ-r9T9a6Mg0kvREm7zlvIheZFeCldckp6DRG39JebY10cWFyYt0kK_k79y8j_/w640-h404/PXL_20231118_185012450~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We celebrated Diwali for the first time with Indian neighbors and learned a lot about this special holiday. There's such a massive Indian population here; I once read they outnumber Emiratis in Dubai seven to one. I don't know how accurate that number is, but one of our neighbor's friends said being here feels just like they might as well be in India for the major holidays.</p>
<p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwali">Diwali</a>, also known as the Festival of Lights, has become a national celebration in India for Hindu and non-Hindu communities alike. Different parts of India recognize the holiday as a commemoration of different events, but all generally united by the theme of good triumphing over evil. It's celebrated over multiple days.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv7LeNqj6LXLxcPpt6NzeTPouIA0D4ZmzSPjuu8I7hyphenhyphenlRZayBiM6iXi6aSpIF5cTedGbFYoqkj2USXyDqeVdvouGaMB9p7x2tyAILkZ8_h8_DIILaVODmhhVP0cicA9LHSBzOhHq3IR1_Esow0CQ1RybYs0IikZu86Xo4ZEJB1pGJs9lETLSKiqGFeY22p/w640-h354/PXL_20231119_133923154~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>In our part of town, fireworks lit up the sky and neighbors decorated balconies with festive lights and candles. In our apartment building, we saw beautiful <a href="https://artsandculture.google.com/story/rangoli-for-diwali/sQWxwh-VUtKR3A?hl=en">rangoli</a>, art made with powder and sand. The local mall was completely decked out floor to ceiling for the occasion, as well.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOoJVfRnGQCit2LRtQJVCDEFKVRMkwo3eHJyBwb_rLpqCs7cP9qO7rxtPd3-lDMa7vMPMlzLJYNh9DHqD3mDqeSH1EGrCWXMw6l3xOFWfbK1lMcVgoaTYdRTsljJTpcaY6c4ADdYTmWsfwc0-QMLcJP9-rYIH5WJaMRapML_4Ow1T53cNuvFCKc-L-R60E/w640-h316/PXL_20231118_162934896.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We had fun dancing the night away with our neighbors and their friends until the wee hours of the morning, but M and I are definitely getting older and can't party like we used to. We devoured the feast our hosts provided after midnight and made it until about 1:30am, but our neighbors kept the party going until well after 4am. We were so impressed at everyone's stamina!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-linEHgYzbKAb3Xln1j9iIf1KrVkD8rJbGMShf_greO89hUUNTpoQUrFB_0-kcsQRbkNUxtkYpEDwPd94C9h3s-PIMJw6RinMNz01xOoknqKHECg7RxHpizSLRdvfNBv6EomxRpEPnYN9LxkkaPJHzufDdGk3ELsr7z59v0WUg9lBgzNBqARtsnUzyo-9/w640-h366/PXL_20231118_192805708~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>It's wonderful to be included in others' traditions and learn more about their history and culture. It's one of my favorite things about living somewhere new. I already wanted to visit India terribly, but the more exposure I get here in Dubai the more I'm itching to go there. I hear it's not too far from the UAE, so I'm sure we'll make it out there someday. In the meantime, Happy (belated) Diwali to all readers who celebrate!</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-29956269189355371062023-11-03T11:42:00.002-04:002023-11-03T11:42:22.519-04:00You Don't Want My Hot Take on Current Events<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg945c-CEGvS4boXUvHnGR4_f7jq3ie3gV7oOUdNrXX2XXa_EKvJIozrB6XrNwqvPVhKZyaxIFoGnR4moVLt_FWGGUljp3z1TyozqlyPbzGnooegU6sB-sX-7T9MyKw2iRKd7oSTZIdVa3U_MEOdkqBjhH5irByMcbIog8S9pnoaYmBSLQqs01PMNeIKZMK/w640-h480/PXL_20231021_130326010.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>There's a reason I haven't blogged in a few weeks. The crisis in the region I'm temporarily calling home is impossible to ignore, not just because I live in the <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/search/label/UAE">United Arab Emirates</a> but because the issue falls squarely in my portfolio. And because M and his family have a personal connection to the conflict. And because I have many Arab, Jewish, and Muslim people I love who feel less safe than they ever have right now. And because every day I wake up to new horrors in the media: pictures and descriptions and stories about so many innocent people who will never get their lives or their loved ones back. (I'm grateful for the courageous journalists, editors, doctors, humanitarian workers, photographers, and all those who are making sure some of those stories the rest of the world would never know get told.)</p>
<p>I studied the Israeli-Palestinian conflict quite a bit in school, including the history and politics and utterly contradictory narratives of the two sides, and I've spent a lot of time over the years debating people on what the United States should or shouldn't do. As a student, I had the luxury of seeing the issue through an intellectual and academic lens. After all, I've never experienced war or terrorism or displacement firsthand. Now, I come to the issue with a different mandate: one that dictates I have to stay professional, apolitical, and in line with U.S. policy. When we serve as diplomats overseas, members of the Foreign Service are subject to some of the strictest restrictions on free speech and expression that can be found in U.S. law and practice. While in other jobs you might be free to say and do what you want in your free time, Foreign Service members abroad are pretty much considered official representatives of the U.S. government 24/7. That affects what I post on social media, blog about, put in emails, and say out loud or even on the phone.</p>
<p>If I started spouting my hot takes on U.S. foreign policy or on the decisions of our elected leaders, I would almost certainly be out of a job quickly. That's why you won't hear my - or my colleagues' - hot takes on current events. The vast majority of us are doing our best to do the right thing as best we know how in the many small ways that we actually have influence over, and I appreciate those who cared enough to let me know they were thinking of me and M. And I am trying my best to give grace to those who have lashed out with unkind words, because I know it comes from a place of pain, and there's plenty of pain to go around.</p>
<p>If you're reading this, I hope you educate yourself on how we got to this point. I hope you challenge people who share <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-67206277">misinformation</a>, of which there has been so much, even if their misinformation supports your view. I hope you stand up for what you believe in, let your elected representatives know, and vote. I hope you fight hate in all its forms, including anti-Arab racism, anti-Semitism, and Islamophobia, and leave space for real conversations that change people's hearts and minds. I hope you support reputable organizations you believe in - a favorite of mine is <a href="https://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/get-involved/ways-to-give">Doctors without Borders</a>.</p>
<p>Someday when I'm retired and have left the Foreign Service and can be a private citizen again, I would be happy to share my (unclassified) opinions, frustrations, missteps, and victories with a good friend over mocktails. But until then, please know that even though many of us are passionate and opinionated about the work we do (and that's one of the reasons why we joined in the first place), we'll have to keep our strongest exchanges of views inside the institution... for now.</p>
Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-89318658040925315272023-10-15T14:18:00.003-04:002023-10-15T14:18:38.549-04:00Our First Date Night in Dubai<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo9oKTSXr56hx7weYLN6oABHsZn7WF72dCK87HiIbKY4Hi88FmVHGJk4wv6jc3sYMr1c8-7gXDXYZBt3DSrbjhAAsX2kV2-MElzzGBEM0klOm58EiSZP5l69e3vPuxfhP8W5t1a9VeQ8OBqllVIwoGJhqTqnI9cln1RUwQ0DeQAylghs7EJ1cjohSNC-iS/w640-h342/PXL_20231012_155428524.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>You read that post title right: we finally made it to our new home in Dubai! We're so excited to be here.</p>
<p>Fall is my favorite season in the United States, so I try to lean into whatever American autumnal celebrations I can get when we're overseas. I was thrilled to discover that Halloween is a thing in Dubai with tons of events, themed brunches, amusement park programs, and more. M and I decided to take advantage of one of these events for our first date night in Dubai: an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Addams_Family">Addams Family</a>-themed Halloween special <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_dinner">murder mystery dinner</a> at a speakeasy!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNSHzMW-BQgqeFnLWSwc5C-QxwQp0w7OXI5vJmB4msqNIfsBSzFfkSxGUpLelcHNUNf5Ce-5-AybtECM6uC9sCMrI0BqvAjX_Iid1SesayBJNojiu06v3TmY_5gBvXLlc38E_6iO0hGGcYfcSqzw79amGNTFjhOm9gorApdklYyBM5ZGkE5DAIWcAwhF36/w640-h480/PXL_20231012_155740783.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I am so thankful for my worldwide church community that I have access to as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (<a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/search/label/LDS">LDS</a> Church), which allowed me to find a trustworthy babysitter so soon after arriving to our new home. We put S down to sleep, donned our thematic monochromatic attire per the "gothic chic" dress code, and headed out for a fun and unique date night.</p>
<p>One fun cultural thing here is that more venues have non-alcoholic drink options besides juice and soda - a welcome change from most American establishments for non-drinkers. The food was a set menu, and the drinks were bottomless. M and I quickly established our favorite mocktails: strawberry for him and passionfruit for me.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL-plSwz6_M4ohNgxscVUs3Z1Fx-_aYKgWfRz6lgRhgqroe54x4yZGk9G9MGPC8doQzE6N9XrT_ZXCPnWquc2LeORQQSgZy5p3Xd4mDgeLI7f9mwiJdjHKn0OeKY66fwf-lc8VkfPD6q4FGuru0326r4MNLCkfKmKFj6I1Ub7zZlh0dgGBTG9O_w0ozkUH/w640-h264/PXL_20231012_181532408.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p><a href="https://www.paramounthotelsdubai.com/dubai/restaurants-bars/flashback">Flashback Speakeasy</a>'s intimate, moody ambiance was amazing and so fitting for the theme. Part of the murder mystery included a very thoughtfully decorated room full of clues to help us pinpoint who the culprit was. We did get nervous when we walked in and saw ashtrays on every table, though, and it turns out smoking indoors is more common in the UAE than we realized. Although folks around us smoked, it wasn't a dealbreaker for the experience.</p>
<p>The food was good, but the best part of the whole night was the performance. The actors hired to play members of the Addams Family were not ony excellent in character but they sang, danced, and even played the saxophone! We didn't realize that would be part of the evening, and we were blown away by their talent.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqPObYD2f5v7SyyR_A-cRfHgnMGBDo2booDA_YkB3NElteDsXyvSbUOen4EZpZ9T0eTYTCeee_IHGQHYpzeLjh7F0TvvFkTmgezD64_Fi54UN0svK-QxgQPEV-ygRqIJFelTXQG907aX37FI5zMkyk_zJ7egJcszV9qAxIWX2DIX54onEejOsBl9uiO7Bx/w640-h278/PXL_20231012_165310299.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>The biggest disappointment was the mystery itself, which was too easy to solve to the point where almost everyone in attendance figured it out. I like a more challenging puzzle, so I wish they had thrown more complex clues and red herrings into that room we investigated.</p>
<p>Even still, we had a great time and I would recommend this date night to anyone who likes great music, food, and vibes. Although the Halloween themed mystery is on for a limited time only, apparently they host a murder mystery dinner of some kind every week.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkletYKyEFRfnhQsOYOTlB9H7o_-pI15dJy6J6ESEIxRacbv591gkjKr-OIjoVX2s_fu2HR-PJlYUVWtwjuonyPBRyySksVc3FF0nZAr6vP4qgG6tav5d4JsqR881qU8GVmlMSucj2akIkcL0oJE_I5_OyRh-jWSp1cSHt3yd-yApAny56TDUNQDq_dm59/w640-h308/PXL_20231012_155140111.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>There is so much to do here and we're looking forward to experiencing as much as we can in the next few years. I'm sure this is the first of many, many memorable dates we'll have in Dubai.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-25102563269270332472023-10-08T14:00:00.000-04:002023-10-08T14:00:45.526-04:00Let's Talk about FSO Salaries<img alt="plant growing out of coins" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh4U9Vb2hk8xE4sTb67vjk7U8KRGROb7I1yWZjoYpHSPkTZ8IDAZzcnL5vNEbEM8SUQV1c5P_qwQbFo4NFBlSJi3LpIr_VGkNi9R1qKLnUl8yZL1JsXDTuEXpuB3fIYoPUUBKhak2bwL2vCYsUeTqbkQtB_m1-3A5SHuMyV1fa1MsyDgAti2ZZusi6lNUg/w640-h426/money-549161_1280.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Today I'm going to address a topic that is (unfortunately) still considered a bit taboo in American society: pay! (It's at the top of my mind since I've had a few recent conversations about it `with mentees joining the Foreign Service.) There are many, many reasons why people should not be ashamed to talk about their wages, though, foremost because <a href="https://www.betterup.com/blog/pay-transparency">pay transparency can lower pay inequities</a>. When you join the Foreign Service as a Foreign Service Officer (FSO), you submit your education and work history to the Registrar's Office, which uses <a href="https://careers.state.gov/benefits/fs-entry-salaries/fso-sop-134a4/">Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) 134A3</a> to calculate your starting grade and step. Your grade and step combination corresponds to a salary on the <a href="https://www.state.gov/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/FS-Salary-Schedules-2023.xlsx">FSO Pay Scale</a>, which is public. There are a lot of <a href="https://careers.state.gov/benefits/foreign-service-officer-benefits/">FSO benefits</a> besides the salary, too, but this blog post will focus strictly on the salary.</p>
<p>Looking at <a href="https://careers.state.gov/benefits/fs-entry-salaries/fso-sop-134a4/">SOP 134A3</a>, it seems like the determination of an FSO's starting salary would be very simple and straightforward. You just start with your highest completed educational degree, add one step for each year of qualifying work experience, and see if you get an additional boost for salary matching. For example, I started with a Master's degree and some years of work experience, so I started as grade 5 and step 7 (FP05-07). By my own calculations, I had more than two years of relevant experience but State decided only two years would count toward my starting salary.</p>
<p>I thought I had I pushed back on their estimates, though when I went back through my old emails from six years ago I couldn't find any receipts. Regardless, I didn't receive any adjustment to my initial offered salary. I went back and re-read my offer letter, which stated in no uncertain terms: "Unlike the private sector, salaries in the federal serviceare not negotiated packages, but are set by published standards." State does have a <a href="https://careers.state.gov/benefits/fs-entry-salaries/fs-sop-134d4/">salary review process</a> that I highly recommend to any new hires who feel like their experience was undercounted. I've never heard of anyone having an offer rescinded or reduced because they requested a salary review, but I have heard of cases of people successfully arguing for higher starting pay.</p>
<p>It's also worth noting that the Department of State will try to do <a href="https://pathtoforeignservice.com/foreign-service-officer-salary-a-comprehensive-guide/">salary matching</a> for new Foreign Service Officers, but they can't go higher than the Foreign Service pay scale allows. This means if you're applying for the Foreign Service and want to start at a higher salary, you should try and get the highest paid job possible before making the switch. I've heard of people transitioning from the nonprofit to the private sector before applying to the Foreign Service in part for this reason.</p>
<p>Your starting salary as an FSO is crucial because it sets the baseline for your entire career. Every promotion to a new grade and every step increase will be based off of that initial salary. That means those who start at a lower number will likely stay behind the average compensation of their peers for the rest of their career. Unfortunately, there is no option to adjust after you join. Even folks who later obtain a higher degree after joining won't have their salary adjusted to reflect that higher qualification. In the Foreign Service (unlike in some other careers), you can do the exact same work and get paid wildly different amounts.</p>
<p>I hope this post is helpful especially for folks who are applying now or who haven't accepted an offer yet. I'm strongly supportive of people coming in clear-eyed about what the compensation is for this career so they can make the best decisions for them and their unique situations. As I mentioned, there are plenty of other special benefits like moving around the world, living rent-free overseas, receiving a pension, and more, but at the end of the day none of those things are liquid, accessible cash. Best of luck!</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-38160394868317343702023-09-30T15:17:00.000-04:002023-09-30T15:17:43.804-04:00The 24 Hours in London Everyone Warned Us Not to Take<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjt_1SbMtaCFZROh-bAjppV_I0Ut6-vM_wcmgNu5ht2jM6dpvgZFzmHOT2XByaO66Q9RhlKSgWNeegqiqupOyro_8dQXW_CY_ejbpndHhAlXdq2W93OhHNhn7whXz_Gtk8A7VP_t7o0TYRWzZDSTbP3g9FOZEZARHnk-v-BnJuxNiDfoizWsH9gD_XXSGg/w640-h436/PXL_20230926_190735529~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>When we move for work, we're typically authorized a 24-hour rest stop at a place we would have had a layover. Until now, we've always taken the rest stop and appreciated the chance to shower, rest in a real bed, and explore a bit of the layover city. On our way to <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2023/07/its-pcs-planning-time.html">PCS</a> (permanent change of station) to Dubai, our designated rest stop option was London. We waffled back and forth about whether to take the rest stop this time for several reasons:</p>
<ul>
<li>We're traveling with a toddler, which is way more difficult than traveling with a newborn as we did on our last <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/09/home-sweet-home-from-seoul-to-denver-to.html">PCS from Korea to the States</a>. Newborns are content to sleep most of the trip while toddlers are generally antsier and fussier. Shaking up routines can also be hard at S's age (a year and a half), so most parents recommended powering through to the final destination as quickly as possible and not taking a rest stop until kids are older.</li>
<li>Many folks told us that Heathrow Airport was too far from the city and we'd have a frustrating time actually trying to get out and see the sights due to cost and transit time.</li>
<li>People advised it's harder to visit London in a day than other cities where we've done rest stops like Doha and Paris because things to do and sightsee are quite spread out from each other and we might only get to see one or two things.</li>
</ul>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6BLeaeEN770c5mzhBeK_n3yI45BsFxb3z-xPBY4Fupe2nCnGo0397SFR8tF2CrfwzmO8vGKydOkWehOVH0-07hD5-cTJxHUDev5Qk_d3XI4G2EqsFb192oTxaN4GiJjpVL5FJuPXZwBTMK9SfOcaCHsizmcwTCv6TO_vIqWibiag8yt2RqA7U7z360TfO/w640-h272/PXL_20230926_172458494~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>Ultimately, we decided to take the rest stop and see how it went, partially as a trial run to see how S did and partially because we've never visited London or any part of the UK together before. The trip started out very rough, with an awful experience on British Airways (BA). Everyone was perfectly nice, but it felt like the first time everyone we interacted with on BA staff had handled a family traveling with a toddler. For example, we always get S his own seat on the plane with a <a href="https://www.faa.gov/travelers/fly_children">car seat approved for air travel</a> and have him sit in that seat for takeoff and landing. (Not having him in our laps the whole time reduces the risk of <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27941573/">in-flight injury</a>.) Unfortunately, a flight attendant tried to tell us we're not allowed to put him in his approved car seat for takeoff and landing and had to have him in our laps. She brought us a seatbelt extension to strap him into our lap belt, but we insisted on using the car seat. Thankfully, she was overruled and came back to tell us we could strap him into his proper seat. (The exact same thing happened on ur second flight, as well. The head flight attendant insisted we couldn't have S in our car seat for takeoff and landing until we demanded he look up the policy and only let us do it once he confirmed we were right per the stated BA policy.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV47Jzf9agHJEG1rKMoxC21fXHDKSHuh4ojoiyBaLx37nYLTnK_8KvX55BEfYzoMl4TbU8wFbRLdcIWDsYqUVDqQfwf9sftDwgPPDWv6L9n3sM_bR6S3zDexhAeVl2xZ-CeKPxmZC23QZLCmdNwKUGMJNuJzZH0OKmpFAxisgCEgse6QTK9HaIzonVwdkp/w640-h348/PXL_20230926_081049817~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>The worst part of all was the stroller. We have a nice, sturdy jogging stroller we travel with that we have always been able to gate check and receive at the gangway without issue. This time, however, we were told that BA policy was to take anything larger than an <a href="https://www.motherandbaby.com/reviews/first-year-products/best-umbrella-strollers/">umbrella stroller</a> and check it as a checked bag we wouldn't have until baggage claim in London. We resigned ourselves to our fate, taking a baby carrier onto the plane so we could wear him until baggage claim. But when we got to our luggage we discovered they had absolutely and permanently destroyed our stroller. The whole thing was smashed, the wheels were bent in all kinds of directions, the spokes were broken, and it was unusable. We had to toss it in the trash at Heathrow and BA shrugged and told us we could always file a claim requesting reimbursement (which may or may not be approved) later.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgosEmr9XDzI9KGxZR7ThJJu75gboRMMFQ_xH2uaULDSgLYFWlRpdQhGmpO-knbICws0dFQ3qmm9b36co_v5BgRYZm3P_5r4fGKlBAGZUF1sfVtvDXjE_ohImqRn02wAeUoQC2gON3NWUcBJg5wiWavkqu4tDxQVl3gkSCUENrFWwZMab2_x6FWeidDyFq8/w592-h640/PXL_20230926_081011892~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Not having a stroller in London (and taking an extra three hours to get out of the airport dealing with that situation) really messed up my carefully planned morning. We landed at 6am, so I thought we'd have plenty of time to drop our bags off and do a morning walking tour that was stroller accessible. We ended up scrapping the walking tour since our only method of transporting S was carrying him. We dropped our suitcases and the car seat off at a luggage storage at the airport and took only our carry-ons into the city. Getting into London once we finally escaped the airport was much less of a hassle than people told us previously thanks to the relatively new Elizabeth line train. We took it from the airport to right by our hotel and only had to walk a few minutes. The train service was great and the train was comfortable and on time with plenty of seating. The best part was, we didn't have to buy any separate tickets and could just pay by tapping our phones at the turnstiles and using Google Pay. It was so convenient.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlbqBjSVh774g_aTHmtFYwZLvTBLnYJseZ0Q_hv_eXs_j0thFmFfePN1v8MBxgRCHPs8s6Pwy-HU3t7AMYjjXwDNbFfgZxSrHB922AP8VCFjOF5qNBwhU6GU8kvX8muNq7hegD8YTTKhGMEvAqlk-gznCOac9tQl7pBUNyvo-seNhhTHY5J4BZsrokKXd4/w556-h640/PXL_20230926_155458427.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>We were able to check into our hotel a bit early, which I was really grateful for after that first leg of our trip. To our (and especially M's horror), though, they told us the building required emergency maintenance and the entire building would be without air conditioning during our stay. Strike two for our rest stop in London... Funny enough, the weather was gorgeous for our whole time in London, with partly cloudy skies and low 70s Fahrenheit for temperature, but the inside of the hotel was quite hot and stuffy compared to the refreshing outside air.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfZmfi9AFtWfVO6iJjyYLtfnJOqlozZFYRfu8f7RrUtLUI1ZHVNUByPYrKIaHNDbwzc387MMlGCi_WFQ-EEj8ELFnxMrHNp376VDwvfmwiPP3DSun5-lI9y4spJ6mDdhJVey3I9MGXygWzioW-8lTZsEF9NGF5ihPfdPeAk2Bn170_npBUXp_Ui7-Nr38_/w640-h220/PXL_20230926_160844202.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>Once we all had a bite to eat at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant and took a nap to recover from the flight, we headed out to explore and had a lovely walk around Mayfair. I tried to find museums or things we could visit, but all of the ones I found nearby closed quite early on a weekday (5 or 6pm), and we had plans to meet a friend of mine for dinner at 6:30pm so the timing wasn't great. Instead, we popped over to <a href="https://www.fortnumandmason.com/">Fortnum and Mason department store</a> to do some shopping and ended up getting their ice cream at <a href="https://www.fortnumandmason.com/the-parlour-restaurant">The Parlour</a>. The Bickfield Milk flavor was my favorite: it tasted so fresh and delicious. We were so busy wrangling S at the table that I forgot to take a photo! (Oh, how parenthood changes you.)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjblG2SEdDTdPoR0ZjUaw1GaIE6BSQZxos071y_66lpP9YQSf5R5TKBIdPbquEJlkgGfAJHuANtmkRO_IUfunDVvkcjl2AQV8BcgTJ8aT0gGj2uJTbRYC8O5KOfjn6kVHc9ow968FzFFbSX4m8PlnTfwKiKr_h2oI0NEiyb7t9MIU3c5gliewAbcATZ4rz9/w640-h422/PXL_20230926_165301423~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>We were going to meet my friend J for dinner at Dishoom, a restaurant multiple coworkers had recommended, but when we went there was a 40-minute wait and M and I didn't think S would do well waiting that long especially since he'd already be passing his usual bedtime. We tried a few other restaurants on the same street, but one said you needed a reservation and the next didn't have a high chair. As I started to get nervous we wouldn't find somewhere to eat, a lovely Thai restaurant swooped to the rescue with not only a table but a high chair. Success! The food really hit the spot. It was so fun catching up with J, my bestie from my time studying Arabic and teaching English in Oman. I haven't seen her in years but when we found out we'd be stopping by London she was the first person I messaged to see if she was free. This was the highlight of our rest stop (and we didn't miss out on Dishoom since we got some for breakfast the next day)!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9pgAqnWVmTXzwRB4DbHVRs1QtTzcLSuA-_CAh98CjQ7aZI4j_0ZBzfY71pc54xTbzO4sCEPfiwSJh_yxHTna5eI3U2h-Y55erCq0M5gK9dIilZWa-IT5PUztWBKbydSWSocdl7Yufh5br6s7sMNCefLl0OBHnZp-Ho07yA3uW-AUZE5gZ8X9pWZoNIfBA/w640-h382/PXL_20230927_084535483.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>On the day of our departure from London, we made arrangements to get to Heathrow two hours before our flight. Since the Elizabeth line train was so reliable on the way in, we thought we'd have a similarly easy time on the way out. Unfortunately, we were sorely mistaken. Multiple trains passed that were not going to our terminal in Heathrow, and the train we actually needed was delayed. It was only the beginning of our departure nightmare, however, because when we got to the airport we rushed to check in at multiple zones where British Airways staff kept redirecting us to a special zone we had to check in given we were traveling with a child, even though we were running late. They insisted it was for our convenience, but it was anything but convenient. By the time we finally found a British Airways employee in the zone for families traveling with children and told them we were behind schedule, they scolded us for our tardiness, rolled their eyes, and let us through saying, "What were you thinking? There's no way you're going to make your flight!" Despite our urgency, they still let two sets of customers from the regular line go before us before we could see an agent. The agent then informed us we were six minutes too late to check in per British Airways' required one hour minimum before the flight. Our pleas for mercy (especially since the only reason we were six minutes late is because other zones kept turning us away) were ignored. The worst part was, our flight ended up being ten minutes delayed anyway so we were technically at the desk more than an hour before departure.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhENoONoyMPwpql36UN5O4Qj_PLEOhgHE0-GW7qhCQ17phodrp6LGOeH3UMSVGUeNWCIPFX4zheb8HGE3wBPy9_Ij4CWmze_vj-LS-owpnNmT8VuD_owZ1k96zru0WP4bxOE5WpS31n1vJ1NRwGFLL7paEVig_LxixrINfefF3t86Qh3UBSbc79yzUDMxcM/w632-h640/PXL_20230926_170959111~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>I proceeded to spend many grueling hours on the phone with Carlson Wagonlit (CWT, the State Department contracted travel arranging company), American Airlines (through whom the tickets were booked), and British Airways (who operated the flight). Each one told me to go talk to one of the others and said they could not assist me at all. Even after seeking help from my office, I ultimately had to pay out of pocket the almost $2,000 cost of new flights for the whole family and just pray I can get reimbursed later (something I was assured was not a guarantee).</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijUCvxGLxuSisyUbSIK7wwz41Gfr4iuGz2MrM-zQuV7gx9R3K4EujD_AAT4IbcskQKZ1IhWOwozW8S1sfSSkUJZnXcBQSsjhYIyK_DklrksfO5i2wwahexE3QZ6Gyiuq6OAUMex0lThyoCfIAxbn3GpjP8D_9ZTpiRpit48ho0qALERV6vTadc2geghyR/w640-h266/PXL_20230926_154621937~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>So what's the verdict? Everyone was absolutely right that the rest stop in London is not worth it, and we should have listened to them! I'm sure London would be great with more time, but 24 hours is insufficient and a logistical nightmare. Even though S handled the transitions, time zone changes, and long hours at the airport like a champ, it didn't make up for how awful the overall experience was. I'm so glad I saw my friend J, because catching up with her was the bright spot of our trip. Regarding everything else, I'll just add my voice to the chorus of wise Foreign Service folks who came before us and say: do not do the London rest stop if you can help it! (Though if you manage to have a completely delightful and successful rest stop there, I have mad respect for you. It's not easy.)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYHxx4ljtWmYKMr7QCTQhJFMG_qN9xnGQ-lXFU0fyc95b5ET7j-Ofj26Jk25SPuBP7xm8XDVCI99Jya_NwYAx3Xszs2bYpF1spblmIu_yPPB1mwHcDJn-FiKQ4nOveNhuR0i2WhdfQKFDBhMd0fW1deK7PvULVdqknR5jiiXtlPDsLA4Dl3yLmG7a_l8_P/w526-h640/PXL_20230926_154232684~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-53862554306044755512023-09-18T21:26:00.000-04:002023-09-18T21:26:07.195-04:00Girls' Trip to Richmond<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOCbrCiDcZOBb2HTSU-Cu6bb0TcY7sq92fIiY5ZxCiKhLhvbSourhGIt5ZGQFKzUf4-nVSW4rUAmK8uPIh01d3sqdMA5Wh9qKisO7v64BsIhJovJIaW_rWphwXicKGHZ8OToXBcPKL0RwQ3LDvo31FG0SVzvX9q0vUxIYt8c0F5tM86C1thW_sNFcZh61Z/w610-h640/PXL_20230903_201458152~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Before we head off again to opposite corners of the globe, I got a chance to do a quick girls' trip to Richmond with my bestie from Seoul, N. It's hard saying goodbye so often in this lifestyle, but if it weren't for the Foreign Service then I never would have even met so many awesome people, including N. I'm glad I was able to get away and get some quality time with just us.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZMjfl8_xfnCXzkUMh2DHiaTG65hVKZgT0XxQomvA1PPLd3Ja7wBJwWnngHgGphfW5ycyYwa0-PaVjYAdXL7foysmszzKeRVz98-0BrEyeWctdf1hJFJrQ2vjYNaaT0MZpsz8glM710mYKLIwMTL9ZzQTanyVhp3IfdtEOnmsMwgHbDTkyDDN9nbVGgNSE/w640-h294/PXL_20230903_200521458~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>It was her first time to Richmond and my third, but I'm telling you the city wasn't quite how I remembered it. The pandemic really took a toll on so many cities, and many of the bustling streets I experienced years ago only have some of the businesses still operating. The many <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/04/upshot/cities-downtowns-vacant-storefronts.html">vacant storefronts</a> (and in one case the inscriptions of people who died on a storefront with "RIP" alongside their names) made my heart hurt for the people of Richmond. That being said, though, I was amazed at the resilience and quality of those institutions that remain - and we took full advantage.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp-sCVyYLIrpL8h2_v1x6wzpW3XWofuAq6OsDHpi_oM7sfb0XdGRTZLzOi_is7JBG859UhEvnPs1YCMdTcBT88-e3HYhlZ99SD-tEb9SJzEq_SaqgTXJ9FUJ-K3S0pbMtSSDhKWSl_dZRuD3tV6gR-r6McNP_YZLaZeIsXM_mqpvUOi06ZX41CQgd5BuD9/w640-h256/PXL_20230903_200424083~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We started with a visit to <a href="https://www.lewisginter.org/">Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden</a>. As we bought our tickets, the kind person at the front desk urged us to head to the <a href="https://www.lewisginter.org/visit/events/butterflies-live/">butterflies</a> first, because that exhibit was about to close for the day.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc3v2mUiHa6bDJvT2b8wQP38boaRNXWIeZghd6XPdCwVJdC-GIqGM3mo_kBAQvHsTUY2tLAFPD6n_HDv5Ez5TxzD8DRfJ8o3eMGz9KXESuABCJdjcQ3lcjMmAbSOoFU76f3cuzF3kLAxQNrWgU4E0hZ6BF4OgDVFcEOG9figEAtKKkW5X8hqsYnxF2Kwih/w640-h206/PXL_20230903_200258111~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We hustled to the far end of the garden and got in line for the butterflies. I'm glad the staff member told us to go, because the butterflies were so delightful and diverse. I saw butterflies snacking on cantaloupe, fluttering about, enjoying the breeze of a fan, blending in with a tree, and more. One even landed on me, but it was so brief I couldn't snap a photo. There were interesting facts about butterflies posted around, and the exhibit also had several cocoon types on display. It was so fun.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd1liuRzZjjBPxgrwMH-SlmJhnptWUSRpgqFUzxCUo6obS6cAAV4Mx5rviKsB0Kc8NPLFB4x-uMAo4wSrCZfRb1NLuB50n0J7AQIAYK0gA1lt_hLh3bZioejk_Spvq9GpEc5lr7mOyhOUgqw5tavH8zXdyzkPBtmuhH89T77SDrwPZ_EtoA70b-y6LM_8C/w640-h256/PXL_20230903_203256759.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>After that, we walked around the various sections of the garden, which was interspersed with art from the ongoing <a href="https://www.lewisginter.org/visit/exhibitions/incanto/">Incanto exhibit</a>, featuring scultures by Kate Raudenbush and poems by Sha Michele, who apparently met at Burning Man. The flowers, art, and small lake combined to make a lovely walk, even if my friend N really could have done without the bees.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn08QQXC7SoBEkg5pFi79UXgpoa5ELJxuEIWY9yIQyAA936IdrOhT19jbb3fWveLTZOaekwOTyVYddQ-O1MOlHozhnttcBKo1d4odajIvhEf-tUJe-9qRxocbt0aQiCXaI64HDlkGQTRjygksQmeACP-rqFctjYGXQoEd3Wqz4XKF8xfB3FpF-9GhKD0bl/w640-h302/PXL_20230903_212048242.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We also got ice cream at a wonderful place called <a href="https://www.rubyscoops.com/">Ruby Scoops</a> I've never been to before. The ice cream was not only delicious, but the flavors were so unique. N's favorite was the hot honey cornbread and mine was the ube cookies and cream. And yes, we did have dessert before dinner.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyjvnDASRbEB8e4N0lzYRjuDO0owuGl0U_wD-_-Ov0v6H-_FWfn9uwvLoTn111T7TyrCeZHfiCKDUa_RPBSkp3noyAgG7heu6qneJV-iA-imppPfSaomBIxkrDbSCxW8jL3O1_eiUl1moamK-hBPX5NcRIYihmoDavd8LKaSHbSGJ0KaT88LSQi93_MVWU/w640-h410/PXL_20230904_002437975~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Then, we checked into our hotel downtown and relaxed a bit before walking over to dinner. We chose a restaurant N's friend recommended called <a href="https://www.lilliepearlrva.com/">Lillie Pearl</a>. Honestly, they knocked it out of the park. We got an appetizer with a full head of roasted cauliflower, and the beet and fig puree it came with was one of the best sauces I've ever had. For our mains, N and I split crispy skin salmon and lobster crab cakes, and the crab cakes in particular were extraordinary. We split dessert, as well: the bread pudding and the banana pudding. Everything was decadent and exquisite, and we may have overdone it a bit.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDtxKy6mOOUOhejjle9DnAPvxsDpLil-Li7nVqwXr4bHBafISJq8Umg2vSMQ854h6pi2K8P3az2hBtibQXv59WlH6XXWLSOJ6UnaCbxRG0n8JtZP2Q6m6TPI0CpRfntGBpoCfOKyEsGgp3tcFWRmVSGUCdEtH1TBqEOvNkmo9NNGioyvpuEXkOzR-pCnb5/w640-h482/PXL_20230904_003852984~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We hung out at the hotel, doing face masks I brought that I enjoyed more than N (especially because it adhered to my face better) and talking and laughing. It was a great time. The next morning, I took N to the <a href="https://www.quirkhotels.com/hotels/richmond/dining-richmond-va/coffee-bar">coffee bar at Quirk Hotel</a>, where M and I stayed on a previous trip to Richmond and which was thankfully still open. It was just as cute as I remembered.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9WlvJjYlC-LbdKMI9BsJubwT1gWGDEefdCG20K2XelVwTpp0H9Yo5WSFvaEmfwtvZiap5yAnyUnk2YHu-u9f65HnjPxYccXL3yJnNiupZmxXR47TrbMN-2h4cLmAVm-pFWdh1SqCSXNZCfEngnGtXrwMgAuPnNGUEpM0amMbg2XGc415x4RJC8u3uiBo4/w640-h480/PXL_20230904_150932569.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I persuaded N to devote the rest of our morning to the <a href="https://smv.org/">Science Museum of Virginia</a>. I love all museums, but science museums tend to be my favorite because of how interactive they are. We got tickets that included the special, temporary exhibit <a href="https://www.spaceexhibit.org/">Space: An Out-of-Gravity Experience</a>. I learned a lot about what it takes to get to and survive in space and what are some of the most cutting edge challenges that scientists are tackling now to help get us to the next level in space exploration. It even included a rotating room to simulate the International Space Station! It was so cool.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0I4kPpKQJWsCCC6WbMMcEtP-UKn6rMb4NtbYCKhBAJC9aj0KLKO96-pkQ5PVVWg-lkTvEGYfDA2_68DHCpCbVyhUoUmGRdSK2KCBj_lYRGEJ9H7xcdkJP4HLk5zjnxDWWoUdxYm2dCp4FE6LJ1613a0C3deHRKC32C72iTdm-viBH-W-yWvnKu2I3-QLe/w640-h626/PXL_20230904_151812671.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We also watched a film in their giant screen theater called The Dome. The show was called <a href="https://smv.org/explore/things-to-do/into-americas-wild/">Into America's Wild</a> and featured landscapes, adventure sports, and wildlife around the United States. The movie made me want to become a backpacker and hike all over the country. The best and most surprising part was that the documentary film featured multiple Indigenous people, which I appreciated given the problematic <a href="https://scholarworks.umt.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1267&context=plrlr">history of the United States establishing so many government-owned parks on stolen Indigenous land</a>.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh04qmR6u_1-lVsRmFCvL5vz-SgiMP9VMknejAzJiW-wXk0zhqqwdZTpyoh8Yay9Pq69qKXF4eCzrJZ1iAbajQnXRPH5sIDomEMFx3VEPLfKALYHmgmYNI9BMDRd25-WO5FH2NO2sYlGVFrHFzQUeMPTxUo2c6H-XdrXbC_MEsu1tUJ324t9tNhrqqG2o_5/w640-h484/PXL_20230904_170245413~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Once we finished up our time in the museum, we popped over to <a href="https://www.lemairerestaurant.com/">Lemaire restaurant</a> at the <a href="https://www.jeffersonhotel.com/">Jefferson Hotel</a>. The hotel was extravagant in decor, and the food was pretty good (but not quite as good as Lillie Pearl if you ask me). With that, though, we had to wrap up our Richmond vacation and head back home. (I think N missed her cats as much as I missed baby S.) But N and I had a wonderful time, and I can't wait to see her again (probably abroad next time)!</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-60882850829137380012023-09-08T22:19:00.000-04:002023-09-08T22:19:16.888-04:00Three Michelin Star Dining in the Inn at Little Washington<p>I can't believe our time in Virginia is coming to a close. In our final weeks before the <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2023/07/its-pcs-planning-time.html">next big move</a>, I've enjoyed spending a little time with some of my closest friends. In this lifestyle, you have to take advantage of those opportunities when you can because it might be years before you see the people you love again. Some of my last stops this time included Little Washington for a decadent dinner, an overnight trip to Richmond, and a day trip to Middleburg. I'll devote this post to our visit to Little Washington.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCM85zY0vS3CCg0-LprSPBTUCEXo5dfzZ7gSKMbVjXOFZwV8p9xEdZT9XJWhNhAin3MOcbPgLA3sxVPiv6Hxyb4w4qV-48p9Qc1L3Ns9J9SuEk47xajdXfk9kzn2GTNbh3CK6oBI1ccAsTXwXGXrIra8hjfPPybGVknFZnt39EfvEwWhGEPgAnmbcHwQrz/w640-h632/IMG_6161~2.JPG" style="width:100%" />
<p>I've wanted to try the <a href="https://www.theinnatlittlewashington.com/">Inn at Little Washington</a> for a long time. It's the only restaurant in the DMV (DC, Maryland, and Virginia) with three coveted <a href="https://guide.michelin.com/us/en/article/features/what-is-a-michelin-star">Michelin stars</a>. My Michelin dining experiences prior to this were a total of one, <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2019/09/eating-at-michelin-starred-restaurant.html">Smyth in Chicago</a>. Smyth had one Michelin star, and I still think about the extraordinary food years and years later. M is not one for fine dining, so I went with my dear friends <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2019/10/falling-in-love-with-new-hampshire.html">L and D</a> (yes, the same ones where I was a groomsmaid in their wedding).</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcZDc-PRS-oByqWhNl0Y98_tcWzz8E0z1zerL4fjSmFVtgeGGbsNm6NUsMkqFJkyZAzzGinaATjDLLVuHUKw3uSfKeyhhph6VGhsG79zGfi7wL_vFL_hicDoe_y8gI7cs-t_95c2g0HfZ0bpo74EYHmv2k8C0CXzDCSdIGF_tRfzOYoV0fYy4q4BMn0KBX/w640-h576/20230902_132436~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Little Washington itself was adorable to walk around. We arrived a bit early so we could take in the sunset and go for a leisurely stroll in the small town and the farmside trails.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGCy09Plkbzjg0FXbuNm49en5oGtVdNPJN4qNYy3Fmbn8jeyePuYIcEUlVCd2IGruRWxX82vgRuH-Fvm2p854yCsu4NSAIHGS1oNiHwBuvg4f0LQ55JhlXuxJtrxFnN5cAD0D4lf-FHKQkxa3T1glp8cEAyS4Q5WAO0p81rXrMGhefM-wxeCo9-68YvFbu/w640-h406/PXL_20230902_032153601~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>The Inn was spectacular in atmosphere, decor, and service. I included photos here of my two favorite courses, coincidentally the first and last of the meal. The first was an exquisite tuna carpaccio with wasabi sorbet. I didn't think it was possible for me to like wasabi in any form until I tried this dish.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0nGQelYGUaEAFFWpMMNGmQ50qMaO73nQ4mXuK1jxpioizTWlvxhotW5Bc9jZxKBcZLXlAdHbHG-JqwOHJnUXM0yMqpulhiffV54ckj_whp5As_kp_Vb3N1Fb-yGN8MYLVlecsYQpisId2KZpTF49w1HXCn-IVvCOr06YGYSyeTnDf0QY47CMDfkwE9Vye/w610-h640/PXL_20230902_011635470~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>My other favorite was the cheese add-on dessert option. My biggest piece of advice for anyone dining at the Inn at Little Washington is to get the cheese course if you can. The person who brought this amazing cow cart full of phenomenal cheeses to us is affectionately known as the Cheese Whiz, and he whipped out more cheese-related puns than I knew any human could possibly generate.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge57GYVx5hl4kLU5Pkhd11_HR_GBp6wE2QzUR5002gwgxcxRQEmX9V8I5dKYAuwwQXLfRy1A878NVpGWWr-lq-yxjhFSH8c3cT6dO_HlUt4gRVXXWnb0zzUn-HWeGyEQjhzdhgAjroKZOq6XtqrghVzA6bSES8oPF0fQmALPdvc2X9bZpZOiHnstWiicm7/w640-h386/PXL_20230902_032024486.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Our servers were also wonderful and made for lively conversation, something L and D rightly pointed out we often don't get to experience in fine dining. Despite the luxurious atmosphere, so much of the Inn at Little Washington was unpretentious compared to other restaurants at that level; for example, there was no dress code and they encouraged guests to dress in whatever they pleased.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNACSkEJmgQV9dmNp3fkFK08H7WQZG3cPHQihSwSysn2U_6JJ57rGFiikKlxy-Vvjm2NxeV2BIb1dHmc3LR4TK12_2BkCgS7J-6fvTZL4bGS-1r6KvBPU8h9jkHUS21a4hNBI2w5P904Uyg2VIo7pukLEuRXc51XigBlxtdJujbJMZi-dhGDlYSLe4GW69/w480-h640/IMG_6153~2.JPG" style="width:100%" />
<p>Would I shell out that kind of money to go there again? Probably not, because it was really quite expensive, but the food was delicious and the experience was something really special. The company was the best part of all, and I'm glad I got to share this one-of-a-kind dinner with two of my favorite people.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-45593041937326834992023-08-15T23:39:00.000-04:002023-08-15T23:39:19.267-04:00Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love: Happy Anniversary to Us! <p>Happy anniversary to M and me! I can't believe it's been almost ten years of marriage. Sometimes I feel like I'm not the best source of marriage advice for other people, because honestly M makes it so easy. I met him when I was 14 years old when we rode the bus together in high school and have been in love with him for over half my life. We really are like one in so many ways.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT3XIXXGJeKvttv7h3EEuNJo8NLBMqjuuQR7dlkS785pjq1XN8-12y-S5A1fV3hiXKVp656G-OkxAgbOAGXJ1yiIgsbhOTRU5czK7ye-d9lnBvJGOlKuz96m_ieZfo9zRA6mCWNlVquwz3AaQI6yRx0b0bPnBLSCoPXUAbfmlQVtqcPjVWrzYCXJwnE4B5/w640-h462/PXL_20230809_232104186.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>We have a cute tradition where every year (or at least every year we remember) on our anniversary we'll write a letter to each other in a notebook we received as a wedding gift and read the one from the previous year. It's amazing what details feel so important to write down one day that feel so distant a year later. There are also a few missing years, like last year, so the last time we wrote in there we were in Seoul and had just found out I was pregnant! Now I can't imagine life without baby S. A lot can change in a couple of years.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvPLAhIVYhnJSkFmkP3gcc9iH1Z4dB8lnOniOA_JELRfjgTnJsRzuF6JW3UKf9sy8rkrLbYB9cKDjjXsemqmf5umLtruytEz18egw8bMPgHHnxq1-cMpeWsJqoHB1t5kLYv2uEoorNj_IIHWbH3reRYkY2UntGcmBAaQ8ZqclBQzsK3pivJH64QfOGxYOb/w640-h418/PXL_20230809_213851722.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>This year, we lined up a babysitter (thanks, L!) so we could go to a romantic dinner at <a href="https://www.thewatergatehotel.com/washington-dc-restaurant-kingbird">Kingbird</a> at the Watergate Hotel and then see <a href="https://www.kennedy-center.org/whats-on/explore-by-genre/theater/2022-2023/moulin-rouge/">Moulin Rouge! The Musical</a> at the <a href="https://www.kennedy-center.org/">Kennedy Center</a>. The food was delicious, and I was pleasantly surprised to see multiple mocktails on the menu. For <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/search/label/LDS">LDS</a> folks like me and other non-drinkers, it's nice to have more options these days. I also loved the personal touches on the dessert, which wished us a happy anniversary.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigorvfPlEP110-1t7fpmTe0GanRy4PW3YJH-Y7z5-iMCJfi5FSttDSlyMNc6Z2s-9zQVvG32daajwftExgHYk7h-SrUUST5dLhHO_PoDQGHkNunqMCZYIgthwwwaXOR0oK5Lp5OOb7cWjlleAenwRkI_Jp2nV9WF3T5yALQI0eis3ZSs_AOIXopLgTGXk8/w640-h304/PXL_20230809_223404584.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>Being from northern Virginia and having a classical pianist mom, I have so many fond memories of going to the Kennedy Center, seeing a performance, and enjoying the sunset over the water. But Moulin Rouge is extra special for M and me because seeing the Moulin Rouge movie was one of our earliest dates. We liked the movie so much that M got me as one of my first gifts as his girlfriend a beautiful Swarovski elephant that hearkened to the elephant in the movie. (I still have that elephant and can see it sitting on the mantelpiece as I type.) We even picked <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h9EM3MaFQI">"Your Song"</a> as our first dance song at our wedding!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcenCMEdNqV5mDgYTYSPD2NcPtbN6sfxf3Ly6XrmTE4ABZjaGlnllmwL3EuqjN5J1Rnt0EOM1qQ7xSn8xtOQIIGhZNWvXFAjCNU7kpU-sdaUBmbd6M8hq1a_JSMUAc7_l26guMaFu4w_e4QZwX-3Aftfi7Hu6GoLmapZs_w2hGmfFdyPBYyyKsbkT0Vg44/w640-h318/PXL_20230816_033632876.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>So it seemed like a no-brainer to go and see the Moulin Rouge musical, a callback to one of our earliest dates. Truth be told, I generally like musicals way more than M. (He once fell asleep full-on snoring partway into <a href="https://www.lesmis.com/">Les Mis</a> when I dragged him to a performance.) But this rendition of Moulin Rouge was an exception. They did a fantastic job updating the musical to make it very modern, sampling very recent and recognizable songs. (<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/17/theater/moulin-rouge-musical-songs.html">Securing the rights to the music</a> was a wild ride, apparently.) M and I were jamming out the whole time, and it was nice to see him enjoy the show as much as I did.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF2cHRVI5m12zvF7BTNBT7dcSvoXwwMZ8ZhG_AvziLezweA6TEV7Y4WUfj51OCsvq1yp3yxaMGodjGuexfLUY-6QaL4L9fW85D09aDlOsfRJtZ3yd0R9EPrehfeuoy9r9St9PnOq9K0AWPBomGyF0lxJrem8GnV8G5wkTw4-cvIaROKKCuoDfDcBRyL7lw/w640-h254/PXL_20230809_232630029.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>I'm looking forward to celebrating many more years with the best husband, father, lover, partner, and friend I could hope for in this life and beyond. "The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-29517155731763899582023-07-26T21:54:00.000-04:002023-07-26T21:54:48.696-04:00The Ugly FSO<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRuOQo_P1cM1tkXMxZHcIs0pFjz1-6YZ5P5feKfkB3kCOhNs62Nt11z5mhdftjcx3DBGHDjnhh1icZQj1TCPQgov__kKRNqUcqQiu6Lsf9YBuHZb-2q3bHZX6n8m5tWxGmuUWPPpNTY_iyv4zhnrViL4XJhkESnIAYAKXzT3ulPynOlV3VcYrut5QXzef9/w640-h426/boy-g89ff374de_1280.jpg" style="width:100%" /><p>Have you ever heard of the book <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/12/books/review/Meyer-t.html"><i>The Ugly American</i></a>? I've never read it, but I've heard many references to it. As <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ugly_American">Wikipedia</a> summarizes, "The book depicts the failures of the U.S. diplomatic corps, whose insensitivity to local language, culture, and customs and refusal to integrate were in marked contrast to the polished abilities of Eastern Bloc (primarily Soviet) diplomacy and led to Communist diplomatic success overseas." "Ugly American" is truly a shorthand for the most embarrassing behaviors and excesses of the United States' own abroad.</p>
<p>I think there is such a thing as an Ugly FSO (Foreign Service Officer), too. This person believes in a strict hierarchy with themselves at the top. They imagine Foreign Service Officers like themselves above Foreign Service Specialists, Civil Service members, contractors, and Eligible Family Member (EFM) employees. They see their <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2017/02/whats-your-cone.html">cone</a> as superior to other cones. The Ugly FSO screams at the General Services Officer, Facility Manager, Motorpool Dispatcher, Information Technology service provider, local guard, or Housing Board representative when they don't get their way. They expect the Consular section to intervene or assist beyond what is appropriate and allowed. They don't bother to learn how to take care of their ordinary administrative tasks and expect someone else, usually an Office Management Specialist or a locally employed (LE) staff colleague, to do it for them. They treat all local staff and junior-ranked Americans as their subordinates, even if they don't supervise anyone.</p>
<p>The Ugly FSO is only interested in their own professional development and advancement. They don't nominate others for awards but ask for (or even write) award nominations for themself. They do not take performance evaluations seriously, especially for Civil Service and local staff employees whose performance evaluation systems look different than their own. They kiss up and kick down because they know their own performance evaluation doesn't account for subordinates or peers. They try to avoid the office housework, busy work, notetaking, party planning, and any other unglamorous tasks but fully expect others to take on that workload instead. They expect others to organize happy hours, hails and farewells, offsites, and other morale boosters without their assistance. They arrive after set up and leave before clean up. In the case of receptions we host, they arrive and leave when they feel like it - knowing some of their colleagues will follow the rules we were taught in A-100 to show up early and stay until the last guest leaves.</p>
<p>The Ugly FSO cares more about their lifestyle and moving up the ladder than the places or people they supposedly serve. They do not take language training seriously, especially for single-country or non-European languages, and do not care about making local friends. The only non-Western local people they know are people they hire or work with at the U.S. embassy or consulate. When they leave each post, they have more to say about the food and the travel opportunities than the people. They try to explain aspects of the local culture they don't understand to people who know better and who don't alike. They believe the time they spent in a country justifies their prejudiced views or stereotypes about that country.</p>
<p>The vast majority of my colleagues aren't like this. But Ugly FSOs exist, and with enough time most of us will encounter at least one. Hopefully readers won't be as shocked as I was when I learned that even in our profession, one focused on service and diplomacy and building relationships, there's still a few corners of ugliness I can only hope will one day improve. My advice is make sure you don't become an Ugly FSO. And if you're unfortunate enough to encounter one, do everything you can to make up for the damage they do. Each positive counterexample makes a huge difference.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-61431932533445495212023-07-21T22:02:00.002-04:002023-07-21T22:02:48.820-04:00Candytopia with My Sister C!<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC1NY6vO3wpkImlTmCmFFopBb1LN0X0CXznxA4l8gnziwwVRVxoN8Gu0GdxxzVr0JMMJdLULlJNBbVS9z0PDrpy1GIyNgAFQU3_5bbIg3LUthFRLggEmOo5B2ivtNb8NOV5_nvYGRw_2rCHRas4jmUluSqv_wypMUIZelaLO0g1Jw9WEvpF_cWXc-njXkB/w640-h624/PXL_20230705_220301382~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>My sister C was in town, so we decided to visit <a href="https://tickets.candytopia.com/event/candytopia-tysons-corner">Candytopia</a>, a pop-up candy-themed experience in Tysons. One of the hardest things about the Foreign Service for me is being so far away from my sister. She's my best friend, and I try to soak up as much time as possible with her when I can.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTN8_GUOuBpyfcacQ5MnNObkxpumnPxNsppxfOW4_dk6rC7MG7pNOZQ_arpJk51LBga8E5QBuhH1V2c6voDjpNihzXwuE6O5bWU7OxQuF2yLrpMZuAtQz7kGXAneNKzYblptV9eQRL8gjzvNssmKtqWWMcjP_g-o_5-0p_t_inomm7ZTukLjf_71_Tx5d/w640-h480/PXL_20230705_220129132.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Growing up in northern Virginia, <a href="https://www.tysonscornercenter.com/">Tysons Corner Center</a> mall was a place I've been to countless times. It sure has changed, though, from the days when I would hang out with my high school friends and do the rounds of Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, PacSun, H&M, Forever21, and the list goes on. Now I'll only go if I have a specific need or craving or want to meet up with a friend for a stroller walk when the weather's not great.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh25AbBZwvirh_3j0Pzqm4MIW3qiKc_8rqXkXGBJyeMf7uaoyXSP8IUY907GMI_8Bpn2Z89WnF96QAToTYXGA18d-ebQzl4_-m521GP7qBRZBbCIeScM8UdH-mo1yXLkQ4v1XtVD_zQrHSGr_eiTk6de3zK-uI9pBFD6Hj73sLC7di7RTFVa_RCteOunt-n/w640-h464/PXL_20230705_220809627~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We were on the fence about visiting Candytopia but decided to check it out, especially since we thought it might be fun for baby S and he's young enough that his admission was free. S loved the sculptures the most, like this fox made of candy corn, a candy that divides our household and my office. (For the record, I'm anti-candy corn.) S is in a phase where every animal is "dog," so as soon as he saw the candy corn fox he jumped with excitement and exclaimed, "Dog!"</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB4ceaVeAoTZ_yV5nEi4nWaYCa2cJX3d5P39tfLY7BDYS5Dhg-zYepfJcgqovsIC5usFyLo4Xbb20KcrYxKYx_vAcWwFPXxmt3SbW9DmP3K9ZBk1YBQZx-VsT2ODOcW0zZ0T1FiPqLI0Lb4_21vtr3W7v8j1GrYbNro68dzO8fbATMM5llxExtb1-WPBmC/w640-h536/PXL_20230705_221315037~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>My favorite part of Candytopia was the really creative and painstaking candy art. Just look at this delectable take on Starry Night! These candy artists have some amazing talent. (I wonder how one becomes a professional candy artist?)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmwmqw7EOkTA-WSxTfkJ79bJtw-u7b8iE8tUBbBNmLu1LNmrAfuJ_Fhjndktwpm_y71I3bMmof_zZIYNhNEGvHxKQ81JlRKSa8fPk3Gb_zkpSYOFysrIT6hmmlZXO9edOfLnhImBaUaVMo3qahPPh_vFlGuYIL_x-nKgLcOK90TWdAH_x7nL7UOVtmxvW-/w640-h480/PXL_20230705_222752502~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Although we couldn't lick the candy art or sculptures for obvious sanitary reasons, we were allowed to touch the pieces. Moreover, each room had unlimited free candies available for guests to eat, which was M's favorite part of the experience. (That should surprise no one.)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyTCh31he64OWQlg7noAG2ouETAhPosN-bq7fC9grEBguMUNqoLT827N_XNFsD2Ona4DdVL0qp0bG21_MlRbMOB2GGQ-ixRkCHGuc4F-TkOiWbnt-ZJ8r15sFEPEtulAGaLV1_vZGPsbC0L-91S6TrdZ_6ePydh5Ny1xr58sNVKJG9yAcN8Us-UKDF33ft/w640-h360/PXL_20230705_223001078~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I think C's favorite room was the one near the end: a pit of toy marshmallows we could jump in. We ended up having a "marshmallow fight" and throwing marshmallows at each other until we were laughing so hard we had to stop. I love that something like this exists for kids and kids-at-heart alike.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM2gvl_NO6mTZ68Oe0Ou6WznBwzMMhl1YEc3QoMj8KI9IYPB5iZ_16U24gwG3QgZivloGqYp72HN8_gIgMAurrInJe2PF8H4Na6IERkDOf1BC1vdAmA8rSnDKYo0s6Xotk-yYggIYiPvPMd2ZNK4O2uTUWZVhAaCeJeGJOsadpj4xE3UwwTG81AeOmpg9f/w640-h300/PXL_20230705_224111783.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>There's a lot of heavy stuff going on in the world right now, and sometimes it's good to take a step back and just enjoy a few moments with the people you love. Joy and rest are such an important part of taking care of ourselves and replenishing our energy so we can get back to doing the hard, necessary work later. If you're reading this, I'm wishing you joy and rest with your loved ones, too.</p>
Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-63547845079137581822023-07-16T17:10:00.001-04:002023-07-16T17:10:27.706-04:00It's PCS Planning Time!<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-s-xZggfMslngG6fEzI7k2K81s97M0tR-wVJTcFA2e40f6i4mr0rLoIZmpB-1pRGhJLnrX0IlPxrh_Y3br3ZyKAdIgN3HvLi4NBztliV2Ut7ADVapwRPfIO8nB0PB1CYVA7o1nQuYnuxrcDT6qD0yIx0kCr9qOJ62Z2TSIGzbwxINbnT86ARxdtPH81h/w640-h608/PXL_20230419_192919691~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Months before our departure, we're in the thick of planning for our PCS (permanent change of station, what we call a move when we change from one assignment/tour to another). The biggest advice I can give on PCS planning is not to procrastinate. M and I plan each PCS the way we planned our wedding: we make sure we get a few things done each week leading up to the move so we're not overwhelmed at the end. We work it into our weekly modified <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Home_Evening">Family Home Evening</a>, which already includes some scriptures, video games or board games as a family, and a review of our weekly finances and budget. That structure works well for us.</p>
<p>My second biggest piece of advice is to channel your inner minimalist and have the least amount of things you can that'll make you feel happy and at home abroad. It makes packing and moving so frequently much easier. However, I know that this piece of advice is controversial in the Foreign Service community, and many of my colleagues would never give up their extensive collection of exotic furniture or impressively full bookshelves or whatever it is. (And if it's worth it to you to take it all, then please feel free to ignore me! All I'm saying is I'm not interested in having a three-day packout myself.)</p>
<p>One skill I still need to hone is negotiating PCS transfer timing. It's a well-known trope in the Foreign Service that summer transfer season is brutal in every office and every post as transfers and Congressionally-mandated home leave in the United States leave everyone short-staffed. (Of course, there never seems to be a reduction in requests from senior leadership, official visits, or major foreign affairs developments to coincide with this annual staffing gap.) As a result, every Foreign Service supervisor wants incumbents to stay as long as possible and their replacements to arrive as soon as possible. It's unfortunate that subordinates are put in the position of pushing back on their current and future supervisors almost every time they move.</p>
<p>In my <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/09/home-sweet-home-from-seoul-to-denver-to.html">transfer from Seoul to Washington, DC</a>, I only got two days of leave even though I was traveling across the country for my sister's wedding the weekend I arrived and was traveling with a newborn and had no permanent housing in DC. Yet both of my offices complained that my transfer put them in a tough spot for staffing. One supervisor still asked me if I could further reduce my leave from two days to one (!) and I said no. This time, I didn't want to repeat the same mistake of sacrificing my own family's needs for my workplace's preferences. When I faced immense pressure on my PCS from both sides this year, I insisted on and received two full weeks of leave especially since I didn't get the leave I needed last time.</p>
<p>I've heard some managers complain about direct reports asking for leave in their first interaction, but our current system doesn't leave employees much choice. One of my mentors, part of a Foreign Service tandem couple who would both be working at post, asked for two weeks to arrange childcare for her children upon arrival - especially since one of her children had special needs. She was denied and had to fight with her supervisor for just five days of leave. Her only option was to hire the first nanny she found; there wasn't enough time to try anyone else. I wish managers weren't so short-sighted, willing to sour someone's relationship for a whole multi-year tour to get them in the office just a few weeks or months earlier. Even more importantly, I wish the State Department helped managers better bridge the gap with temporary detailees and real prioritization - meaning that some of the workload actually decreases instead of just telling people to do more with less.</p>
<p>Anyway, there are an enormous amount of administrative, logistical, and personal tasks to complete with any PCS. Thankfully, Dubai is a very cosmopolitan post where we can get pretty much anything we would need locally (even if I hear the prices are quite steep). But we still need to update our vaccines and passports and I need to transfer my work accounts to Dubai and we need to book our flights and find renters for our apartment and reserve our packout and the list goes on and on. I've noticed each time we PCS that the Department is getting a bit better about digitizing and centralizing more of the process. I hope one day there will be a one-stop shop for PCS assistance instead of so many different people, offices, and systems.</p>
<p>They say moving is one of the most stressful things someone can experience, and we go through it every few years! Parts of it are a whirlwind or downright absurd, but we make the best plans we can and then laugh about whatever doesn't go our way. As long as we all make it to Dubai in one piece, everything else is icing on the cake (or can be figured out later). And we're all so excited about the next adventure.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-49792734622745777892023-07-01T22:48:00.000-04:002023-07-01T22:48:10.897-04:00My Best Advice for Being a Staffer<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKmph295rwIv5GU9WXXRSLiW7v3rQCfCfBz2ZosTviM6SJYV-R5_-zrJquHKb_XvPLnUEcrnb0XwW6I5PBkmd1RreAR4T5aylbr6KhvPoU8Zjw0RKGVyz68yTrPUUwrOOQqtbyPL8GbsfyvRhSdmgPgniRVe4cv_AwPVW4-CrnsappAphLcm6u3ElNUchd/w640-h640/paperwork-g3855e2f7f_1280.png" style="width:100%" />
<p>It's hard to believe I only have a few months left in my current tour as a Staff Assistant (i.e., staffer) at State Department headquarters in Washington, DC. As people transfer to their next assignments, it seemed like a great time to do a post on the best advice I have for anyone else who wants to make the most of their time as a staffer.</p>
<p>So in no particular order, here's my best advice - much of which I received from others but some of which I came up with after my experience:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Read the paper.</strong> One of the principals in my office who worked as a staffer earlier in her career recommended that I not get too lost in the rote exercise of moving paper (i.e., the policy and administrative documents behind our foreign policy decision-making, information flows, and records) but that I actually take the time to read the paper. I have learned so much about U.S. foreign policy from reading the paper, and I've learned a lot about our principals by reading their edits and comments and debates in the documents.</li>
<li><strong>Balance professional development with supporting the team.</strong> A DC tour is a great opportunity for networking, training, and attending professional events. At the same time, being a staffer means you're part of a staff team and the staffer work pretty much never stops. So whenever someone is off attending an event or doing training or even grabbing coffee with an outside colleague, the other staffers in the office have to ensure the work goes on. Either extreme is problematic, so I recommend striking a balance: you don't want to hang your coworkers out to dry because you're more focused on special projects and your own professional development than your main job, but you also don't want to miss the unique opportunities that a DC tour brings (especially if you're going back overseas immediately afterward).</li>
<li><strong>Talk to other offices' staffers.</strong> So much of what's billed as "standard" for staffer work actually reflects the quirks of a specific office or even a specific principal. You can learn best practices and alternative ways of doing things from other staffers. Plus, you can commiserate about the pains of staffer life with those who will truly understand.</li>
<li><strong>Try not to take things personally.</strong> As a staffer, you often function as a go-between and a messenger. You will frequently deliver bad news or task something that ruins somebody's day (or night or weekend). Sometimes, people will take out their frustration on you. Remember that it's not about you, and if the behavior is inappropriate or abusive or unprofessional then speak up and raise it with your chain of command if necessary. I once had three different people in a row yell at me on the phone. Thankfully, someone else in my office called out the third yeller and that person apologized to me, which I appreciated. One line I heard once and love is "I can understand why you're frustrated, but I cannot understand why you are speaking to me so rudely/unprofessionally/inappropriately."</li>
<li><strong>Be flexible on duty and shift schedules.</strong> Stuff comes up all the time, whether it's personal needs or a last-minute trip where you need to travel and staff a principal. Sometimes, a colleague gets sick or has a family emergency and you need to cover for them. You can't be married to a duty and shift schedule, so you might as well roll with the punches.</li>
<li><strong>Get to know each principal.</strong> Every principal has their own preferences, quirks, pluses, and minuses. Don't assume just because two principals have worked closely together for a long time or come from the same office that they will all be the same.</li>
<li><strong>Learn when to say no.</strong> It's okay to say no sometimes. I said no to multiple travel opportunities because the timing did not work for my family or even my breastfeeding goals. I also eventually learned to say no to <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2023/06/14/women-do-more-office-housework-heres-how-to-avoid-it/?sh=74d5f64b5dce">office housework</a> (i.e., non-promotable tasks that need to get done) that was outside the scope of my job. Most find office housework an undesirable task that disproportionately falls to women (and especially <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/04/women-of-color-get-asked-to-do-more-office-housework-heres-how-they-can-say-no">women of color</a>) in the modern workplace.</li>
<li><strong>Go in with a strong sense of what you want out of the staffer gig.</strong> It really helps to have a plan for where you want the staffer job to take you, something you can compare your progress against and reassess as your time in the role goes on. Whether it's a future assignment, finding mentors and sponsors, building your peer network, or deepending your subject matter expertise, your goal will help guide your focus and expand your perspective beyond the day-to-day grind.</li>
<li><strong>Don't expect people who haven't been a staffer to get it.</strong> There's a reason folks with staffer experience have a certain amount of solidarity with one another. Most people in the Department do not understand what a staffer does or how. Some will be curious and ask, but most won't. Don't expect people to get it, and assume the folks you meet have no idea what you do as a staffer. You might have to explain if people get confused and ask you to do something that is not your job or complain about you doing your job the way it's supposed to be done.</li>
</ul>
<p>I obviously have just one person's perspective, but I'm sure other staffers can relate to what I said. It's a tough but interesting job, and now I know why there's some professional credit for all those who have served as a staffer.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-11347484134200288032023-06-17T22:24:00.000-04:002023-06-17T22:24:27.447-04:00Back to UVA, 10 Years On<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj95G84f73riNh1W63gNOEzA8Dw6XAG-shHIKsCCT2TwWf2RIKhNvrEH9PoEuG0dNMmQ2KrXic8pWL9hc2I3TrNSyyIB0of7DZ2IeZBA5ywUnVfjk5xsh_RDDkwNdU0Qle2jtpM2grfzTXJGGgj401CS5k9t7Bq5t0a3YTIB88qIZAPpKNUgeLCapWeFA/w640-h480/PXL_20230610_000313063~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>Usually the Foreign Service keeps us abroad, and reunions are rarely feasible to attend. So I was especially thrilled to discover we'd be Stateside for my 10-year reunion since graduating from the University of Virginia (UVA). I didn't know a lot of people at the reunion since I graduated a year early and most of my friends graduated a year after me, but I was excited to explore my old haunts and see how the university and Charlottesville (Cville) have changed since I attended. I'm also glad M (who spent a lot of time at UVA while dating me long-distance from Virginia Tech (VT)) and S could join me, and the reunions team did a great job of including family members.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQe1t7YMFE0g5004ZzGcRSBoNyaz5c0zORJSNfjf279bTzDHuT7Ut3FcqGa4_JkpoqnpSjZHKOf7bhXnTfivkqza0zODfEp3kEWVO3Kg9z2Nr_kEdSXGHrx0BX53iDho9UUV35Wnh3qO6EUD3O8kc0wKFJ00HReb3oqFxjfn0LOpvWEN-eLatCG5ufCg/w640-h286/PXL_20230609_184040724~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We drove down to Cville on Friday morning to make it in time for the first event we wanted to attend: a student dormitory (dorm) tour. I lived in dorms all three years at UVA, including as a resident advisor (RA), so I was interested to see what the experience was like today. At risk of sounding like a bit of a curmudgeon, I have to say that kids these days will never know what we went through! All dorms now have air conditioning and elevators, but I spend multiple years in dorms without either of those. M and I will never forget the struggle of carrying furniture up and down stairs and laying out surrounded by fans trying to cool off in the summer. They even have adjustable beds, now, so students can decide what height bed they want! In all seriousness, I'm delighted to hear that dorms now are more accessible and comfortable for students so they can really focus on what they should be there for: to learn.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgumFqZl2-vUTSVF03lVeUZDmEmcmfWZCLkRtaGItcpxIbLklPG_tHoyhHYeZ6Z5YXu8DHgqFFuQdWPJcDJjX2h8INIL7_GzVs6ebpW8IyxKYng4WvMxy8N427FImvg03cwXJ3JHIDmP6bhegK1pPSRTTHNRafXXUrmG37hZ70SLDVgVfSNxvM2HG95sw/w640-h334/PXL_20230609_151630136~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>The newest dorm is called <a href="https://uvamagazine.org/articles/gibbons_house_honors_once_enslaved_couple">Gibbons House</a>, named after Isabella and William Gibbons. They were an extraordinary couple who built a family, pursued their own education, and gave back to the community as leaders despite being born into slavery and enslaved at UVA for decades. Isabella Gibbons wrote in 1867, "Can we forget the crack of the whip, cowhide, whipping-post, the auction block...the hand-cuffs, the spaniels, the iron collar, the negro-trader tearing the young child from its mother's breast as a whelp from the lioness? Have we forgotten these horrible cruelties, hundreds of our race have been killed? No, we have not, nor ever will." I am glad my alma mater is honoring their stories with this dorm and with prominent displays about their history, and I'm sad I never knew them before.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXmqJGQs9XU88EA841WTP8Ewxy5GuBv2L2JJmhZqNmmPHw2aaZPh_ZeqVrl2RISq8ndhCID8umAtycQ2qAhn5E9vQWMipe5moIoqXai1YU3DF6eYm1OBU2mqIJ2i5CjU4V1sb7z5FZ0Pe-8Zw_el---FEyO2dk72QFnq2eASPY4iFho9i8_i-ZBSQEzA/w640-h482/solar%20panels.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>While I attended a lecture (some things never change), M joined a solar panel tour. Apparently, UVA has a goal to be carbon-neutral by 2030 and fossil fuel-free by 2050. Some of UVA's rooftop solar panels are owned by a local power company that is just leasing the rooftop space, while others are owned by the university. The ones owned by the power company are connected to <a href="https://www.cfr.org/backgrounder/how-does-us-power-grid-work">the grid</a>. UVA has already achieved its shorter-term goal for 25% of its power needs to be met by renewables thanks to an agreement to purchase energy from two solar farms.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdsrEQrfRyZhRMbQfRdGRFAwyWFgPQrQTZALSVrh7B31peaVAcCVQuj7p1FdGX6MvCYZNsz_7z8dzJGBDhCahw6u_QVtPuYj8fvL170pAdTKsOG1rqzKxtcmdEonCeiqIgEYQN8_TBn3cQLYkwBJh0gYLF5r6SKKHeCYHAeQyab_tyI9A1wNzyeJsiBg/w640-h190/PXL_20230609_193035541~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>My favorite thing I saw the whole reunion weekend was the Memorial to Enslaved Laborers. This memorial was an idea that students passionately advocated for when I was a student (with some vocal opposition), so I got chills walking the site of the actual memorial realized in physical space. I learned that the memorial planning process included a huge range of stakeholders: not just the university administration and students and alumni but Charlottesville community members and descendants of enslaved laborers. That process resulted in an extremely thoughtful and profoundly symbolic memorial recognizing and honoring the ~4,000 enslaved laborers who built UVA and kept it running. You can read more about the effort to get the memorial made and the meaning behind its design on the <a href="https://mel.virginia.edu/memorial">memorial website</a>. I took a tour of the memorial led by a UVA alumna and descendant of multiple enslaved people, including Sally Hemings and the Maupin family. If you want to learn more about supporting efforts like the memorial, genealogical access, scholarships for descendants, and more, check out the nonprofit Descendants of Enslaved Communities at UVA (<a href="https://www.descendantsuva.org/">DEC-UVA</a>).</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgecUDxug7XCp8EdSi3Q3Ahl_YgpQDLvUpml4s2fpSKRFOUvOFq97njbwXVHFKynnEuUSHAoX3uVBAOReZnaD0hsp_Bl7xYP_MRqLIbCkkETDranv5JR9v1JTGt7iBcKjegmW6fhiueKWplPkgZlOBypL_YZlzogb3veff_sl-VQN_XkegWhVseYnvhMQ/w640-h210/PXL_20230610_003340616.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>I was also touched to see so many signs and memorials around campus and town for the <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/3-uva-football-players-killed-shooting-are-remembered-role-models-last-rcna57145">three UVA football players killed</a> in a campus shooting in November 2022: D’Sean Perry, Devin Chandler, and Lavel Davis. Both sides of Beta Bridge were painted in their memory, seven months after they were killed. Moreover, the UVA Alumni Association continues to lead a fundraising effort to support the victims, survivors, and their families; if you would like to contribute please consider supporting <a href="https://giving.virginia.edu/uva-strong">UVA Strong</a>.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7E5DV-JQf7_ivNF0mwoZMWA7JnDQOhh1U_UOwrgTVUQKVBiTg-Ycz_PXv_uzryDvCmkLazrSxY9rEwBlXNOvYjcW9BzNK0F6D8i9pQr3k-bkjlsSDrNBFPKH1jv3BIU6ybL7RY9_Guu6ybKt62S2voW4PFvPJKiwzdr-8rv6wpdTwVikMwuuDPPjiWA/w640-h178/PXL_20230610_145143139~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We also took the time we were in Cville to visit several of my favorite old haunts and restaurants, including Take It Away sandwich shop, Marco & Luca dumplings, The Virginian, and Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar. We even swung by the UVA Bookstore to pick up an outfit for S, because somehow he wound up with way too many VT clothes and not a single UVA item (until now).</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheO8XfBXDL5NRocBShbaSEG-aZTMrGhZVLrCS5RfCgSbvuLvudU3a02C1u50IeNRiXVl9MtlzL-EgB68uQqEwgv1dGCAp6GvAg5BUzR-YRQVUEf78d26LVNQa_SE47f7_A6RUfLkaIqvOWvqZQ2Oxo67JabJ44Jk81iLV2HKQ0jojPOyRY1uVNbyIwxw/w502-h640/PXL_20230609_215330040.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>It was really nice to bring the family with me down memory lane. It'll be years before I get the chance to visit again, so I'm glad we made it this time. The Alumni Association and UVA administration and staff did a phenomenal job of helping us alumni feel right at home again on campus, and they definitely made me want to come back again for a future reunion. Until next time, UVA/Cville! Wahoowa!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOZw-2rki4PKm2Vd7OysPjCVnaJRwkCQJxWAdacl6DKcNx-KbrfrB5CX6JPwhDyebC37ITdzU2Ln4_UIpC_49wNwJrXk4hj3COvESznNOcgdz2hDDpQRSwZHfc-oKA_GaDEtShnXySV9T6O-pMsgwuy3mdLpqY-EN3TE9FEjnl0d6O8RQmBZSdv30qDw/w480-h640/PXL_20230609_143419401~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-10073833469494380442023-06-04T22:23:00.003-04:002023-06-04T22:23:48.215-04:00A Weekend Celebrating Beauty, Truth, Goodness, and Love<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyOvdOZRSMrQzLoecdhzJRX4qnfAg18v_BVQqQaGvYNX2QMOsWmBgABMngDRxgEak5Vwcs8MOKC5mJTW7T2J5415j8jGTaxhy2XAaWM7dSqE3D1v4mjZoDrz8CPS4UBLNEdZOIyZ_JDp2wa2rK87tYR4iJX-nibD7teEL8Jwu9fL9G_gqADHOuUpgFAw/w640-h480/PXL_20230603_001116951~3.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We had an amazing weekend in Pennsylvania celebrating the wedding of my dear friend W from college and her now-husband P! We drove up from Virginia and made a whole weekend of it. P's family is from India, and they incorporated beautiful Indian traditions into the welcome party on Friday night. We joined other guests in wearing Indian dress, including baby S. We stayed just long enough to see the bride and groom <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varamala">exchange garlands</a>, which signifies their acceptance of and respect for each other. S was exhausted from the drive up, so unfortunately we had to leave to put him to bed before we could enjoy the amazing Indian dinner. (This was one of the many reasons we regretted not booking a room at the main hotel where so many events were held.)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDSoEYQZP0gu1mlWRpKMrPLcmghU4Ecnr2EJpoNpHdw6lVLJSpqy1jD9VHfsd0qPEJOFPiyaldd7dzxTHaKLd8waIjXUr9q00pVmrd_heaLMc_u9I-ppj-mvo38_siMbnWjhlxFXuGvwunU8tmvoWbijtx1EJT0sdMjgfjix4mTdagIGz4HQ8mg_7dPA/w640-h362/PXL_20230603_000642446.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We got settled into our hotel eventually after a bit of a wild goose chase for a <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbes-personal-shopper/article/best-pack-and-plays">pack 'n play</a> after (to our shock) our hotel's receptionist said they did not have the pack 'n play we requested months in advance available. It's a long story, but we were ultimately able to buy a pack 'n play at a local Target and request reimbursement. Otherwise, the room was great and I couldn't wait to catch up on some sleep.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgigPWwISgrIQIDLvnnwwQ7zGuWyyPjx_PrHOjSwSXRufgUVDUv6R4iCYMOcPG59ftlbdGn51qOIIfqsXAoRU24YW08a1lRuASN0uzoiy49ivqqXDYRY2PzhoUz_8lARyaQGhVrcD6fcHXLjrPN2SpiS_-JURAKtQzjLJ4sKZlp5WcH3qrjnFi2V_xD4Q/w640-h480/PXL_20230603_001114169~3.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>The next day, we knew we had a full morning before the wedding festivities started so I planned an excursion for us to <a href="https://www.nps.gov/vafo/index.htm">Valley Forge National Historical Park</a>. Valley Forge was the encampment site of the Continental Army during the winter of 1777-1778 during the American Revolutionary War. The park blew me away, and one could easily spend a whole day there in weather as lovely as we had. There were trails where folks were walking, jogging, biking, and pushing strollers. There were areas with scenic views and picnic tables. There was a range of fascinating history and a mix of recreations and original materials.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidYB5sgyZAYoVZDC9s7vi-T6fxOQehJT8hKiToit37hvOl9eF9x4CCoHlizNsHlK_T3zD3iN61f7LFVEm06x4IsJa6oGuCHbcYrZyH8Rd-LlTz1GdFzXoUTJXE0f00RYTrq43OQbF2_zzqvlm6YPCUHwEGUPHW7r-2LgvWlGmTP3is_UFd3V-ibibyXw/w640-h342/original_7dfc44f1-b90f-49f8-a75d-63ead47e826c_PXL_20230603_140337808.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>You can learn more about the history of Valley Forge on the <a href="https://www.nps.gov/vafo/learn/historyculture/valley-forge-history-and-significance.htm">National Park Service website</a>. In recent years, it seems like the park service has really taken some time to research and share the stories of more marginalized people whose experiences didn't feature prominently in most of the mythos around Valley Forge in the public consciousness over the years. Now you can learn more about the <a href="https://www.nps.gov/vafo/learn/historyculture/valleyforgewomen.htm">women</a>, <a href="https://www.nps.gov/vafo/learn/historyculture/patriotsofcoloratvalleyforge.htm">Black people</a>, and <a href="https://www.nps.gov/vafo/learn/historyculture/americanindians.htm">Indigenous people</a> at Valley Forge. We also stopped by the newest monument: one dedicated to Patriots of African Descent by <a href="https://www.deltasigmatheta.org/">Delta Sigma Theta Sorority</a>, a historically African American service sorority. I learned a lot on this visit, and I appreciate the ongoing effort to expand our understanding of our history and its legacy today.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9iCZhlFAIGyQtq68Heo7wDvh55oJGk0-_XW9XOXCyULdVJ1X8H5swNtuwfO_aovPZyzRZJYiHNm6KGF-IMZ3JIpRvYuR2dNSxkEUumrq08rDeoDFcdR9O9LUVJg8hVyPHuzI5BlvUA8UORW3nJHDXPktVlqa0nzRMq55HGo4_ZY1nCFXWzaMRypwGvA/w640-h480/PXL_20230603_150919679~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>After that, we returned to the hotel so S could nap and we could get ready for the main event. Once we were ready, we dropped S off with a complimentary nanny service graciously provided by our friends and arrived for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception at <a href="https://www.nps.gov/places/pc-knox-estate.htm">Philander Chase Knox Estate</a>. Originally built in the late 1700s, the Estate once served as the summer home of Philander Chase Knox, former U.S. Attorney General, U.S. Secretary of State and U.S. Senator. Even President Theodore Roosevelt once stayed in the house! I wish I had taken more pictures at the wedding because everything - from the venue to the decorations to the flowers - was stunning. My friend W has impeccable taste and class, and it showed in every detail.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe88J11dpHjJbW7bQ-9KqUAurTKFabzsYEQ7nQLkPMvF5CXzPnyzDtmZ1r7XuBGF8av7gd-nLKbCqwIOf-ZbGnHTge4PkdbJt0MyJtOvj565jNMufUpdw9PCQSWd6gVtULvnyzYfC0mz_f_krO_Cas2kxizkFbkTnKDvKC4WcRGVHJmyLizj6CHGueMw/w640-h480/PXL_20230603_224708214.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>There was just the right mix of hilarious anecdotes and tearjerker moments in the ceremony and reception that made me grateful I wore my waterproof mascara. We also loved the thoughtful seating arrangements that put us at a table with fascinating conversation partners with passions ranging from fighting cybercrime to studying macroeconomics to running a think tank to diagnosing foot conditions. It was a fabulous group and an unforgettable evening. Unfortunately, we didn't last too long after the cake cutting, knowing we needed to pick up S from the nannies and take him home. Our sweet boy was so tired he fell asleep before we even got there but let us transfer him to our hotel without an issue. It was our first time leaving someone to watch him with other kids, so we had been a little unsure of how he would handle it. To our relief, the nannies assured us he played wonderfully with the older kids there and they had all had great fun trying to teach him how to high-five.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjClh4HPaCG5khztsVrIvAQIAaKjdpOIdXQgy2t_SKe8_JRK1EiJNd5G2X6_KoZrixyUiVUUBhPP6yP4RdfiBU7J7kS5AXTrJ6oP4UOCszjKNq52RPC2nwRJLRBNiT-IZkJFQqa1KFgkUOlQpeJ8LCYOK7yjP6ElQFuG0A1IaVlQ_54IEKG3uRJitJBA/w640-h480/PXL_20230603_135307346.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Sunday morning, we joined our friends for a farewell breakfast and were amazed at their alertness given the party had apparently continued long after we turned in until about 3am! It was so meaningful to spend such a special time with friends. One of the toughest things about the Foreign Service is that we're usually overseas and have to miss so many of these important occasions and milestones. I'm so glad we could be here for this one, and we can't wait to host W and P (and any of the many other friends we met this weekend and invited) in Dubai!</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-26793402948405674212023-05-19T22:40:00.002-04:002023-05-19T22:40:41.156-04:00After-Work Events Galore<p>Whether we're overseas or in Washington, DC, Foreign Service folks have plenty of opportunities to attend after-work events. Sometimes these are required, sometimes they are purely for fun, but many of them fall somewhere in between. The event might be optional but it's a good opportunity to network, build contacts, and pursue professional development. So although you don't have to go out every single night, there are personal and professional advantages to putting yourself out there (and on the flip side there are costs for skipping too frequently).</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkuL37pIAUvTNAAbzq1cRgQ9Yqg0FgjhARpYMO1hHShLs6ZYbUuWlcsVXjwaGWWjIlyZPppDxEPttm_VMeEHhDSqMNP6JGBh1o-LA4j3IF0U-Fmurz6AbYGhHwDwBJDIFwOgeXOt6nWCWiZCBBq412pmEQfRhCo5M1CmtwgTWjMnBQGX5E-hXcA_thwA/w640-h378/IMG-20230502-WA0000~3.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Recently, I've had the opportunity to attend a lot of after-work events that cut across these categories. I'll highlight three of them here. First, I attended a cocktail dinner for the <a href="https://careers.state.gov/about/diversity-inclusion/employee-organizations/">Asian American Foreign Affairs Association</a>, of which I'm a member. It was not a command performance by any means, but I'm so glad I attended because I connected with some of my favorite colleagues, met new folks from other organizations outside of the State Department with fresh perspectives on Asian American advocacy that energized me, and even gained a new mentor and sponsor who's taken me under her wing. It was also very empowering to see the broad range of senior-level support from State Department officials, including phenomenal Asian American representation, at the event.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNtplrOO_kKIDEyux5ezROPHN1g8DN3NgxltaFgFm_LFN5WFbg2nQl0l6U7F0DImwiZhg2vIOTQ_wylsEvyS5lhGQDw_PCy-Lx43KF8UbA1f6HTOIwWSHWDWYjhSkirkZBtmdODIqJs4pExjJz5fI-jPqmUO4ccWDBftGB6gBxKgf_0eEPsIOpi3e4ig/w640-h426/PXL_20230502_224255648.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>Just a couple of days later, I attended the <a href="https://www.classy.org/event/the-2023-global-good-fund-gala/e454935">Global Good Fund annual gala</a> with my sister who was visiting from out of town. My friend L gifted me a ticket since he was unable to go, and my sister and I split the cost of a second ticket. The charity event drew an amazing crowd of social entrepreneurs and philanthropists and featured a guest of honor who is a pioneer in sustainable fashion, <a href="https://autumnadeigbo.com/">Autumn Adeigbo</a>. We were blown away by the brilliant and innovative entrepreneurs from around the world whose projects save and transform countless lives. It was a special night, and I was thrilled to support the great work the Global Good Fund does.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Q45HgEHxNfqClVDf-XNMtAR7N_P2aM4XPy-6gPcEE7b1eTGCloGcks70TGtxPaTSyp0fudU4PdSjcCh6YnLwkDZ7PpnA_Y8XZCCwF5FM2lWBsSrnXkspsY_cZ9ZjYdm4QS4CQQSg8FgFy9pusBTCh3KCJZGYumNxu0xmQIJymbliCGAJiZEFe67cUg/w632-h640/PXL_20230504_223657214~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>The following week, I took a night with just M so we could go on a date at the relatively new Capital One Hall. We saw <a href="https://nationalphilharmonic.org/cosmic-cycles/">Cosmic Cycles</a>, a special performance by the National Philharmonic of Henry Dehlinger-composed music inspired by our explorations of outer space and set to a selection of images, videos, illustrations, and data visualizations of Earth and the universe. (I especially loved the section on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-2F3QD_UyA">Earth, which you can watch online</a>.) It was such a cool collaboration between NASA, the private sector, and the artists.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitxrA3Y1xyhv4GX3rVhhoAeN9EvJ0wE7cP9CFmaHXSmuqyKjRrdIWTFZDerhrH913guaitZmj4QC9-NOeeNP26IeXCiuihd10GtxB7MHJItwySsy6Yx0JiT-h6zaEnWsZAK68z1n4UhhSXZnwPk6xlWAMEZBoL0sw7gyGv1bLjquxHB_rkK6hqRelNQA/w640-h480/PXL_20230511_232232948~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>These events come at a cost that I don't want to diminish: these past few weeks, I've had less time with baby S, less time for my hobbies like reading (and writing blog posts), and less sleep than I like. A really important aspect of a successful career in any high-intensity field like diplomacy, though, is rigorous prioritization and time management. My two cents are that even if you haven't been great about defining your priorities and setting boundaries in the past, it's never too late to start. Some weeks you may have a lot of after-work events, and others you may need to cut back and say no more often to save your energy for the next wave. I loved all the events I attended recently, but I'm looking forward to a bit of rest and quality time with my family that I only get when I'm home.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-57815976933444218742023-04-22T19:01:00.002-04:002023-04-22T19:01:51.470-04:00Four Days in Hawaii
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2FZnAUgJQkPK1rfXayCHMoqaMQPhPg3YdjflWHu44bKO95Og1G55Lw2o9ifAySrRh9wn5nAQ4nsYFa4zrcZ-T59P0GtkWkTJ9SYk53ztZaJtariyq_okkKFj7tg6CDFVu-vePTgC8qttaWmw3UbIO-Q0ePVVHfX7S8cs__CdjIlvFmu6auGfRB62jjw/w640-h480/PXL_20230416_004218723~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Yes, you read the title of this post right: we flew to Hawaii for just four days! We spent almost as much time transiting from Washington, DC to Honolulu and back as we did on the ground. We were visiting my grandmother, my last living grandparent, who retired there with my late grandfather ages ago. She had not had a chance to visit us and meet baby S, so we went to see her instead. It was so precious to see my grandmother with S, her only great-grandchild.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif7RqkNWEsuS2CSjcYLCTcnMwNtGlMSqf0vWXkh0LLKJQ_LUDZUy6sdiLGbTH-T0_yUfSDy6M-p9wfvRJVSG5rMTGrjA9tgJVWU2RhJjGsB_BmXso7abnf7U7OxJLTBqv8VJm2MjdFzVUWpYoHVjIF2FmgmtB0qv7ki2dk_OyEP12bDtwwJsNtx0ReqQ/w480-h640/PXL_20230418_001506496~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>For the record, traveling with a one-year-old is a lot tougher than traveling with a five-month-old (as we did when we <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/09/home-sweet-home-from-seoul-to-denver-to.html">PCS'd from Seoul</a>). Newborns and infants sleep most of the flight, but toddlers are squirmy and antsy and awake longer to cry. They also eat more food, so the logistics of feeding them are more complicated than making sure you have whatever you need for milk or formula.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW0R4_WlCYaeO2eQvHy1NZDHdmfTk4TK8e2SvRQTrpe4pkAbUVeLjlbcpIUjYLwR4jW292rN7dkHNb0dNh5Mnw_Ft1OeAkaXFkenKjyV1AoOyVysAQqXtXwksoIAsbGfkTh6E-RmnpD4fGEK_ZMjpX2x0-R9GLiDhcC7VDLaRLTJVDq1W-K-U2L6311A/w640-h628/PXL_20230416_194307224~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>All that being said, S handled the travel like a champ. I was especially scared about the damage to our sleep schedule given the long flights and time zone changes, but those were much less painful than I feared. We adjusted well and were able to visit my grandma every morning we were in Hawaii and hang out for hours before heading back to the hotel for a nap. It was a pretty intense language immersion for me, as my grandma speaks Korean and Japanese but not English. I did a lot of interpreting and translating while I visited, but it took intense focus and attention to keep up with my impressive grandma.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcgn_sZdxcuGnZ8HFYdKCQdhSes8zA8xyG8OUWHxqNryQpVBXv3zbkQ4eUzIgf_Go8E9mje1elLvpeqYTCMqsRH_C5Umt50_Jy_kgbXn6belOpWltGAFNahhgJTKd-4A-ULcQ-6RynvpEc6eCZTRT_5H3lL1L-7oqYTG4xG4Vipf-EUmMUIcA7Kt5OyQ/w640-h402/PXL_20230418_201128840~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We stayed in a <a href="https://coconutwaikikihotel.com/">boutique hotel in Waikiki</a> that was perfectly convenient. When we weren't hanging out with my grandma, we went for long walks together as a family and explored a few nearby restaurants. Our favorite was an all-you-can-eat Japanese barbecue restaurant, where we definitely got our money's worth. I also picked up a souvenir box of <a href="https://www.honolulucookie.com/">Honolulu Cookie Company cookies</a> - my favorite treat from Hawaii that I personally like more than the <a href="https://hawaiianhost.com/">Hawaiian Host chocolate-covered macadamia nuts</a> others might find more classic.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv4VWxCU9UhQDxoMzCaB55byI7uLR8q6g_m05e8nai9TvQHfY4S34vKrebNYb_whg7xdotkpOdp-CmaS1zKfmrR8jtNxhYgZ2ioYG5l728OH06xUKUNFByBmMvG6rhSPpNot942Cc8t0lq7d2Ec8yFVmconRxVTNu067yPTSFR142JIP33gUvs__3YKQ/w640-h362/PXL_20230419_030834399~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Shockingly, I did not have a single minute to spend on the beach itself or in the ocean. The one day we had a little bit of time to go after visiting grandma - our last - it was pouring rain and I decided to pass. We barely made it to the edge of the sand in the gloomy weather before we had to run back, ducking under awnings to keep the stroller dry.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP-5cW05LuT8i6u418QaHeo-1mxZOVjfPzBwhrjMwR4gZpZWrbUbkewkhJu9NFevCiLIMJijbHypLxKC5Co5laKeQu2Oqdeat5AVL7zXQzFLXlDvbPSbiEro8MAc5FTVhv2UPDFflAgR2OAJ_uhTJk3Op9U62pP298Yuaj-K0JqS4nGMCPBfJLra5pMw/w640-h480/PXL_20230419_182236997~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Not one to give up, I found a brunch spot we could visit early right before we had to leave for the airport that had a beautiful view of the ocean. Our breakfast was delightful, and I got to at least feel the ocean breeze and see the crashing waves before we had to say goodbye to Honolulu.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU1ZCubt9cwAm7Z6Ud7je0Fl3HaQx0AQamwrWMTIpL9QmkPJrqezYk8NFr46tOnFNqLBaGtElvBYSrMH2pn7nmg4Hkj-h7MUlByvvNff7p09mJ3QBB8rq9zk2R0o6zyX32smerl1AwP3qTH10uQCQ_DGK0OMfYDZTthqRRhNtj3cG9LKyKkct3Wak0jA/w640-h480/PXL_20230419_182254113.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I hope that's not our last visit to Hawaii, because every time I go I fall in love with it again. It's easy for me to see why my grandparents chose to retire there. Although this trip was short, I'm so glad we made it.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr9tKcYTxxcnTvRUoeVY7_dC6pXcZspgZYLnTIh-Jg2DIId8zYqaMCWHzE98dmGTSdxOOl1Qw2dy-dBJz1TmA5hfcDANzsxBw3hLatWa4OKFhZD88HIbaFn_33S_tCxDMm1pg601loRk7VZrO1WRDWVeDj1m03OPXTbFXvFOrj_0u846Y3PB-As1Qyaw/w640-h404/PXL_20230420_031516503~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-67761903247195610292023-04-15T23:43:00.005-04:002023-04-15T23:43:18.898-04:00S’s One-Year Party and Doljanchi<p>I can’t believe our baby S is one year old! Taking him home from the <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/04/two-weeks-in-korean-luxury-postnatal-spa.html">postnatal luxury spa</a>, <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/09/best-advice-i-got-for-returning-to-work.html">going back to work after maternity leave</a>, <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/09/home-sweet-home-from-seoul-to-denver-to.html">PCS-ing</a> (Permanent Change of Station; i.e., moving for official duty) with him… All of those things don’t seem like they were that long ago. As I mentioned in my baby advice post, it’s so true that the days are long but the months are short.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMdUmvlla0lHulnVFDxKNKxCDk-6QHWLST1RKD7irBnTxgB-0ZTP0vODAqRhR-s3ViLKvu8IgXFYiCsbB4ExdlJI4XVkwS5xfKR_q3VABXL1Y7WQ5WT3mSKKKdLhKW6RDNeyimJJxglWKn4zlli6iZzJHjS8y32YDJmY6f68uIO50VITEHtIlMlc81JQ/w640-h374/PXL_20230408_182029975~3.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We celebrated S turning one with a Korean <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doljanchi">doljanchi</a> (돌잔치), also known as simply a dol (돌). At a dol celebration, the child participates in the doljabi (돌잡이), where parents place objects on a table in front of the child and whichever one the baby picks up first says something about that child’s future! Of course, all the items are good and the parents get to pick the options, so it’s a little bit rigged from the start.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhya8YjWArFz_WbTS4I_k2q2Mfj2GAxqBEbZRGdBvRpmHZMPtmJx1R8VgYTpd3RDc79S1CkZsvoEg0Eql6VKegc6BVnQpPcK4sN9feZM1GgyIixi-KP3WdAx-eupkeJCZuipqZUfvYdIho-JXB4nhTkuLbdnvAg2KAgbr0H7pL3YAxBZB6kgzgLW3ijLA/w640-h424/1915510_1021925719718_34564_n.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>We chose six objects that were a mix of traditional and modern: a braided thread for long life, a fortune pouch for wealth, a soccer ball for athleticism, a pen for an intellectual life, a stethoscope for a medical career, and a toy robot for technology. (For the record, I picked the pen at my own doljabi, which is pictured above.)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKv3tostt1ebtw7Ya1ar1cLWoljhlGnyNK6zVqSXomb6p8iMvWGTyPffSkSmaQGp-ccWo-ibEY78BUoQVqTKSmJ_Y12AQr5rvHlfxLspacERHvIqlWGbrb4bmItBT6jTjOrQ9yfk_pkAKmur_yEq7tcVvFRygIlmLVkelpmC8urkJ4_OpFO3s6mCH8WA/w640-h296/PXL_20230408_180840617~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>As our guests arrived, they took raffle tickets and voted for which object they thought S would pick. I wondered if it would be difficult to tell which object he picked if he went for multiple at once or didn’t show interest in any of them. It turns out, I didn’t have to wonder at all: he immediately and confidently went for the soccer ball. (In true S fashion, he also immediately started chomping on the soccer ball.)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF4Kw7Qo_c0FGAWA0bzET4syZhrV46GyO_UprjdUuIlnM2CVk_D0gEtME-Ho7B1HiGU8gBM0YLUrqg-vPGXy-6NVRJ3PbuW1-jKBS9nvNKCFD9tp_KSd0hi6JvToSRfFXEE_BQAoQYeAs8nFJAxUi1cc3ARumBxZxuocdZq4oNVzmPpFfBMdEvUgZmYA/w598-h640/PXL_20230408_181755306~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>I was thrilled to pass this beloved tradition down to S, putting him in an adorable baby <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanbok">hanbok</a> (한복, Korean traditional clothing) and taking photos I can show him when he’s older. I also appreciated that so many of our loved ones could attend and support baby S’s milestone as well as let me share Korean culture right down to the food (including a 떡 <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tteok">tteok rice cake</a> birthday cake) and drinks (including a themed <a href="https://www.today.com/food/trends/what-is-dirty-soda-rcna26689">dirty soda</a> bar).</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-aneiCx4PJTlntU3MTDqQh9fM2Ne70rbRfYy1tMsrUgWuyL0sFZY6KRmPOpodF9Ya9zOcfKcyxCF5mii3pdQ9ZqG6ALjQ2sqtJwSrs16VpJwfcqJ0SMrrfppU0WxFq-JP5SsK5SP6ippUFM1szKBy6oMEWfC3ZsPZy1zoTQwkDhwIbNfXdodIYNzYGg/w640-h538/PXL_20230408_182451385.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>Our hearts (and fridge) were full long after we cleaned up and everyone went home. I am so honored to be S’s parent and am so grateful he made me a mom one year ago. There were incredibly hard, tearful, and painful moments that I don’t want to minimize because motherhood is no joke, but I gained so much more than I lost and I can’t imagine life anymore without my baby boy. I will treasure the memory of S’s dol forever.</p>
Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-48150381112326355592023-03-31T21:33:00.002-04:002023-03-31T21:33:38.552-04:00My Last Week of Maternity Leave: S's First Cruise<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitJRDlwJ4gD_mtI8sBJiu7J-KqB-iv2fj77yqfGklVBfv84NiVegjPtO6phHLQHj1NEHepFLUrDUugy5cHeoibaDXx3rT0XoKJbmMNMcj61ZJoPzw3obNDklJOnfqPd1jWD0Qrk2gvwhxKmMyiIm8d6gxU6x_pCP5HTUzWkAHiDzmLeE15jdHSvRmHxQ/w640-h480/PXL_20230327_163118408~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>I'm so grateful for the wise and wonderful Human Resources Officer (<a href="https://careers.state.gov/career-paths/worldwide-foreign-service/specialist/administration/human-resources-officer/">HRO</a>) who (1) reminded me as the birthing parent I was entitled to sick leave to recover from birth in addition to my three months of paid parental leave (PPL) and (2) suggested I consider splitting my maternity leave into chunks instead of taking it all at once. At the Department of State, we can split up our PPL and take it any time up until a year after the birth. That may not work best for everyone, but it worked splendidly for me and gave me more time to bond with baby S after I had recovered more fully from the postpartum period.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmkJi4qolboUyO4rKkIx_vMVUdbJKtGYy54ohQfgxzmZroYGFZxxY3hbRPbaiaCjw0ovqZYy_lexWpGH0tadRMika0JAHiks1qJvzyuv_N4PE_D7VFEo3bAHQvluPgcTKBl1pAfRJY7zY7tq6eQzcavHbPzHzZWqIZ3AZu1wPGG4xJBMtQJxQ8NUvKbQ/w640-h372/original_173848d1-89a2-414c-bc71-c00e7f78eee3_PXL_20230327_194755635.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>We decided to use my last week of maternity leave right before S turns one to go on a family cruise to the Caribbean. We picked a cruise that sailed out of Baltimore so we could drive there from home in Virginia and not worry about flights to Florida, the more common departure port. This meant we spent many more days at sea and visited fewer ports, but it was the best choice for us for the convenience. We requested a pack and play for S's room and were able to put him down for his regular naps and bedtime with minimal disruption.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRNECxua_sXODKpie4U-n6D8Ygnd0LBLW7JBtL_sw027DTEYXstSFNa0akRewO_nhXd-QlHIMdx7ofiV9nh5SjDDuq-PwV7XZCthHiNJPy7XmS7dK18y_cIsBRPzlLmp65iDlN5H9lz1-Ej1kl6AYyrrE9Cob9iSeYTlbYDRLZ8lFb1yft8zwmtIurjg/w640-h378/PXL_20230325_013728402.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>Logistics-wise, we felt prepared for S's first cruise with plenty of clothes for varying climes, pouches and puffs for him to eat in case we couldn't find something he liked at the buffet, and his white noise machine, babycam, and sleep sack from home to help him sleep more comfortably in an unfamiliar place. We were relieved to find he loved plenty of the food on the ship and didn't seem bothered by the rocking over choppy waters. (I looked it up, and <a href="https://pontoonopedia.com/do-babies-get-seasick/">most babies under age two don't get seasick</a>. They have a lower center of gravity and their world is already pretty wobbly anyway, so they don't have the same disorientation out on the water. Isn't that cool?)</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAYf6lfyvwv5Ey6ZW9_zvdl1fEpPq1v06c0DCpmbZNzmIU02YGvbJi0ON26eYf1KBCaFNjmI9o0rdfVFOhI792MTklCN3o5IqYznwzFCxIWDzHzTvCscli7DaZ5ulWrx2QVbhwYMaWWPC7sZutI5DG7xp8hTr4JAIyCmbTphT2u0aatuow8Lz8VPDpLA/w640-h394/PXL_20230325_023042258.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>Our first port of call was Cape Canaveral, Florida. A lot of folks do Universal Studios or Seaworld as a day trip from that port, but I stopped supporting new Harry Potter-franchised things and places with my hard-earned money due to <a href="https://www.vox.com/culture/23622610/jk-rowling-transphobic-statements-timeline-history-controversy">issues (especially transphobia) from J.K. Rowling</a> and I've heard too many reports of animal abuse at SeaWorld to attend with a clear conscience. Many had warned us there wasn't much to do in Port Canaveral itself, but we decided to venture out and explore on our own anyway.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxhUHCbuWe0fmtvCwanwP-8YTlFCPBrRGOABTRZfMfN62OkW39KlDfkubRgOR7Du7Yjb9EnnBYXdaPmle64L5G8zJQDXIyoEapWbPUwVv4Rm6bMhuqv9sb7IjxeVWwiPJVCKwXy_mxsSaqtrMRPRhQcnQ6d0xyL7uS2EIuXXI6Pxpz6JvmXLoEJyL0Dw/w640-h554/original_4fc7eafb-2bad-4477-85c3-033c55ad85e4_PXL_20230326_163412189~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>First, we visited <a href="https://www.cityofcapecanaveral.org/community/parks___facilities/manatee_sanctuary_park.php">Manatee Sanctuary Park</a>. It had a nice little walking path and some exercise stations, but the day we went was too hot to see any manatees. According to our local driver, you'd rarely see manatees there anyway - so folks who drop by should manage their expectations. After that, we went to the <a href="https://wizardofozflorida.com/">Wizard of Oz Museum</a>. It had an impressive collection of over 2,000 Wizard of Oz-related items including the first known copy of <i>The Wonderful Wizard of Oz</i>, the book that started it all, printed on May 23, 1900. Also on display is a 1914 book in the Oz series (which was much larger than I realized) that contains one of the first maps in fantasy literature, which fantasy fans will know later became a staple of the genre. At the end of the collection, there was an immersive room with images projected on every wall to make various scenes. S and I got to walk down the yellow brick road together, and we had so much fun!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgka-IEq7QkDErcvfJfkAz4VKSAg4OCcVF5IRmyZ3ASUz3cPR3WvxY6Plpg_HwbVcQQy806vhYXeytG0kJU51o71SarvSvjQwPOk0korRny8V99srSP0ZPMBqAQyegftCf0vDyuozcz-fgl4nz4WBHtiw6p9Tw78hjjEXWFrVBSmXwt2foy6w4IOYgM0w/w640-h364/PXL_20230326_172659611~2.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>The biggest disappointment was learning just how racist the older books were; I saw some very offensive depictions of Asian people in particular that I'll spare you but apparently many of the characters and peoples in Oz are coded for races that would have been widely understood at the time. Just because it was commonly accepted back then doesn't make it right. I firmly believe that it's important not to erase problematic history and that we must teach it to the next generation so they can understand the problematic legacy we're building on and discover what's right and wrong for themselves. S is still too young for me to have those conversations with him, but I hope I'm laying a good foundation.</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNrpsj-bqk6PJj-dxHZsfzeTEioX0MWhRntlPN_q5P2CNrjvptL3WKgLAvhiy2HNQ9pSyTb8ZosHYEDn57qDCZNZN0FHBCECCesZnI9svKaYOsEPmVZENsb-ICYb_Iy7E-s1fiR_TNRRVSteutNCJhZWUiFwQxhVX1ska8zW1CDCtzWRUymMxb6jqMkw/w640-h416/PXL_20230327_182854924.jpg" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>Our next stop was CocoCay, Royal Caribbean's private island in the Bahamas. It was phenomenal, and I wish we could've stayed one more day so I could've gotten more time on the beach! Baby S touched sand and the ocean for the first time, but I had to pull him away when he tried to eat a bunch of pebbles. When M went back to the ship to put S down for a nap, I went swimming with some island pigs!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvbla7WemTWd8l0m96YFQEaHjldUaqE-Dji6CoAfdEsOvyYzG2fnHs829Mzz8OGFw8XJfEgQmro9ZBM8K5gG2ihNmCy53mYeXBIkCIV5uFsLSSFjLhGpgwFKhR5l9-2-FtTPDNA7X6ComzxwXlIvb5jMhpKdVcAbgIJuYjgY11y_Jn6EEuD_OwvuTOsw/w640-h480/GOPR0204%20(2).JPG" style="width: 100%;" />
<p>The Bahamas are famous for swimming pigs, which are not native to Major Cay where they are today; however, stories regarding their origin conflict. Some say they were the sole survivors of a shipwreck, while others say sailors left them on the islands on purpose as a food source they could revisit at any time. Regardless, I was glad I could have fun swimming with them, and M was more than happy to skip paying to swim with pigs!</p>
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<p>The final port we visited was Nassau, capital of the Bahamas. We took a <a href="https://www.royalcaribbeanblog.com/2023/02/10/self-guided-nassau-bahamas-walking-tour">self-guided walking tour</a> of the city, We climbed the Queen's Staircase, 66 steps built into limestone in the 1700s by about 600 enslaved people to create an escape route from Fort Fincastle. Then, we swung by the bright pink Governor's House, a colonial building that displayed a Christopher Columbus statue until last year after someone damaged the leg of the statue with a sledgehammer. The man <a href="https://ewnews.com/bye-for-now-christopher-columbus-statue-in-storage">reportedly shouted</a>, "You destroyed this land; I’ve come to take this [expletive] back" while destroying the leg. The government decided to move the statue into storage for now as Bahamians debate what role colonial symbols like that should play in an independent country and whether such a statue might be a better fit for a museum than a seat of government. (That debate sounds familiar...)</p>
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<p>Last, we stopped at the historic <a href="https://www.nassauparadiseisland.com/hotels-resorts/graycliff-hotel">Graycliff Hotel</a>. I especially enjoyed the Graycliff chocolatier shop... So much so that I neglected to take any pictures of the chocolate. Suffice it to say the chocolatier's stellar reputation is well-deserved. We ended with a delicious lunch at a Greek restaurant called Athena Cafe & Bar. (Apparently, there is a substantial Greek community in Nassau.) We enjoyed Bahamian conch fritters, a lamb gyro for M, and a trio of dips with pita bread for S and me. We grabbed some ice cream at Italian Dolce Gelato afterward. Unfortunately, it was cash only, but we scraped together enough bills to get a cup to share since I wanted it so badly. What can I say? It was a hot day.</p>
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<p>We made the most of our last few days on the ship heading back. I soaked up the sun and enjoyed the pool and hot tub, and M enjoyed going all-out at the buffet and catching up on things over Wi-Fi. I periodically checked my work emails mostly so I could delete the deluge of things I missed but didn't need and maintain my <a href="https://www.techtarget.com/whatis/definition/inbox-zero">inbox zero</a> approach. Mostly, though, I did things that were relaxing and fun for me like reading and blogging and dancing and taking naps. It was so hard to come back home and end our vacation, but I feel so rested and healed. I'll treasure this time I got to spend with my family forever.</p>Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539377606061487092.post-50041348813279377962023-03-19T21:56:00.004-04:002023-03-19T21:56:40.513-04:00What I Wish Folks in the Field Knew About DC<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmGl_vAnvqTcOPgdIpCHTaYllkC_WVf_fIve6_gE9uTIZv4Ks8we7tFwEXP4bkWSjCUYUPwJUBaZS_SrsNS4iiVxZLapgFC05B8upIgssFPgWsdWoTnKA9YrQUoMLk6YY3s5sfkC6jNHmxCNi9zZaaTM4J-2xgH18Yx5sCUC9VvjLEN6aFO6UhTiSQDQ/w640-h480/PXL_20230318_232657630~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />
<p>It's been so hard to find the time to blog lately, but I finally got a long weekend away and a few moments to breathe, enjoy nature, and catch up on things I enjoy. We booked an Airbnb in Lake Anna with friends, and despite almost cancelling the trip due to a stomach bug we recovered and ended up going after all. It was a lovely time, so I'll be interspersing this blog post on professional content with a few photos of our trip.</p>
<p>Doing even just a one-year tour at Main State (what we call State Department headquarters, also known as "HST" for the Harry S. Truman Building where Main State is housed) has taught me so much that I'm definitely going to take with me when I go back out to the field <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/2022/10/where-were-going-next-and-happy.html">later this year</a>. Some of the things I learned are tidbits I had vaguely heard before but didn't think about too much until I witnessed it firsthand. One is that work-life balance for most is generally better in overseas tours than domestic tours, especially domestic tours in regional bureaus. I'm going to think about that when I'm at post and corresponding with the desk - they probably have a lot on their plate that I don't have visibility on every day. Plus, when they message me after hours or ask for something in a ridiculous time frame, they're probably just the messengers and it's not their fault.</p>
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<p>Whenever I worked on official U.S. government visits abroad, I felt like post did all of the work and the desk was just kind of there if we needed them. Now that I've seen visits from the other side, I know that's not the case. The desk does a lot of work helping prepare the paper and the logistics and serving as a liaison between those working the visit on the ground and the staffers and special assistants and others supporting whoever it is who's visiting. Even when a non-State Department official visits, the State Department does a lot of work to make sure the visitor is safe and the visit is effective and successful.</p>
<p>I wish people in the field knew how different DC work is from post work. It is not (as I previously thought) very similar work just happening in the United States instead of in a foreign country. There is a lot more paper and a lot less reporting, and the broadness of any given subject matter expertise is higher per position at least in a regional bureau. For example, a single desk officer in DC might cover all issues touching on another country including the bilateral relationship, their role in the region, their political and economic situation, consular issues, and more. At the same time, that post might have many officers that can each devote their attention to just one of those topics. I'm so impressed with the desk officers in my bureau, Near Eastern Affairs (<a href="https://www.state.gov/bureaus-offices/under-secretary-for-political-affairs/bureau-of-near-eastern-affairs/">NEA</a>), for really knowing their stuff when they have to cover so much.</p>
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<p>Bidding and networking are also a lot easier from DC, in my opinion. There are countless employee groups and professional development opportunities that span a huge range of interests and identities. While I've been in DC, I've been able to participate in a monthly breastfeeding support group, the Asian American Foreign Affairs Association, connections with colleagues who are also members of the <a href="https://nandm.sbitani.com/search/label/LDS">Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints</a> like me, and a DC mentoring program. I've also been able to find out about more bidding opportunities and connect with offices and hiring managers that I would have never had the same access to while serving overseas.</p>
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<p>So many of my peers have said they'll never come to DC due to the cost of living, but I think it's doable for most depending on the job and where you're willing to live. If you have a job like mine where you get a special differential (in my case an 18% salary increase) and you're willing to live a ways outside of DC, it's a lot more affordable. Importantly, I think there are things you learn spending time actually working at Main State that you can't learn anywhere else, and I see higher level Foreign Service positions requiring DC experience more and more. Of course, compared to the housing provided overseas it will be a financial hit, but with enough planning most folks can prepare and budget for a few years of paying rent (like the rest of our country does all the time).</p>
<p>Others who have served in DC, please feel free to share your advice in the comments below: whether you agree with me that a DC tour is worthwhile, what surprised you, and what you wish people in the field knew. Thanks for reading!</p>
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0-qmdO00Ya9cMJ1VPIPAPiPz6ntLSoD5gedBV09yhqykxEQ_PKinxr93AQhgBUnWUocxkx6_rmAg7y48fAkuFnU7qPtSp3ALvISeYK2hAdso0_sNQdI5hagZ8-NF0fcmC0Yfj4xKt8_I-vbA4DVULoNd1ldrAcDyDBevnEAnaivIRNMd3eWGA6acvkw/w640-h354/PXL_20230318_171130184~2.jpg" style="width:100%" />Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07098891116581127595noreply@blogger.com2